12 weeks! - A belly bump AND baby A's placenta has moved!!!

12 weeks...we are so very thrilled to be to this point! I am 12 weeks, ME!!! Woo! The risk for a miscarriage goes down a lot now. It doesn't guarantee that nothing will happen at all during the course of the pregnancy, but boy is it still a relief. Hello second trimester! We hope we don't have anymore scares, but it was nice to be able to see the babies again while at the ER last week. They're so precious, can't believe they're OURS! We love that one is a crazy little dancer, and the other is super mellow. So cute! Some mornings I wake up and I forget for a half a second that I'm pregnant, and then my whole day is completely made when my brain fires up and I remember that there are TWO little babies in there :) We're sooo lucky!

This week the babies are headed toward 2.5 inches long and weighing in at approx half an ounce! They're now the size of a large plum, and their tiny heads are as big as grapes now! Granted they have a lot of maturing to do, it's still so neat to think about. It's only been nine weeks since the transfer...going from microscopic to a plum is pretty impressive! Their bone marrow is starting to produce white blood cells to help keep them healthy after they come into the world. Their digestive systems are starting to contract so they can practice movements necessary for eating. Their kidneys are producing urine, their eyes are closer together, and their ears are almost in their final position. They resemble tiny humans now and look much less alien-like. Their pituitary glands are also starting to make hormones that will help them have children of their own some day! We hope with every fiber of our beings that our sweet babies never have to experience the heartbreak of infertility.

I'm definitely feeling better than I was on Wednesday. Still sore but the pressure has gone and the pain has lessened. Hoping our little ER visit doesn't end up costing us an arm and a leg. Since I'm feeling better the doc doesn't need to see me until the 17th. Good news. AND...I heard from the charge nurse today that my ER ultrasound showed that Baby A's placenta is no longer partially over my cervix!! Yay! That'd explain why the bleeding has decreased to almost nothing over the last week or so. Sometimes these placentas have a mind of their own and can sometimes move back, but we are praying it keeps moving upward as it should. If it's in a good spot and both babies are turned head down, I will be able to have them naturally! I don't do well with surgeries, pain wise. And, I scar badly (Keloidal Scarring) as well. So, I'm terrified of a csection, but will do whatever is needed to get them here safely. Crossing our fingers that I can have them naturally. Keep growing babies, we love you!

Lastly, but definitely not least!...I am super excited to post this pic of me in my jammies, he he...because I have a belly bump!!! ME! I have waited almost NINE YEARS for this moment! We celebrate our 9th anniversary this week and have been trying since we got married. It's easier to feel and see when I'm laying down of course, but here it is! I've seriously bawled several times today so far, so grateful for these two tiny miracles. My belly has felt different internally (if that makes sense) for a few days now, but I didn't really check it out cause I've been so exhausted. But, I couldn't help but notice my bump this morning! It's not super big of course, but I will be huge before we know it :) Hello babies!!


12 weeks 2 days

A trip to the ER & 20 Fun Facts About Twins!

ER VISIT
The day before Thanksgiving my doctor had me go to the ER just to be safe. I had been having an increased feeling of pressure and pain. And it wasn't ligament pain (which is absolutely awful by the way!), I could tell it was something different. His office was closed and so was the high risk doctors due to the holidays. So, the ER it was (I was very impressed with the hospital and staff by the way!). He wasn't worried about the small changes in bleeding, but was worried about the pain and pressure because that can sometimes be a sign of early labor/shortening of the cervix. Everything looked great though! My cervix needed to be at least 2.5cm, 1cm = very scary, bed rest, and a possible cerclage (cervix stitched closed). Mine measured at a great 4.4, but they're gonna keep a good eye on it, and I'm supposed to rest a little more. We love good news! So grateful for a caring doctor who is willing to text and call me on his days off, and arrange my pre-arrival with the hospital so we wouldn't be there as long!

 We got to see the babies on the ultrasound screen again, Blake was so happy since he missed the last one! We absolutely love their tiny, adorable toes! Baby A was very active again, flopping and flipping all over the place. Baby B was just kicked back again, ha ha. Wasn't sleeping and still moving, but not having a party like it's brother or sister next door, lol. So in love with these two! Baby A measured 44.5mm with a heart rate of 175, and Baby B measured 47.3mm with a heart rate of 158. They seem to take turns with growing and then measuring the same. Both measured approx 11 weeks 3 days on Wednesday. I will be 12 weeks tomorrow, woo hoo!! So happy to make it out of the "scary zone"!

The ER treated me for a very mild bladder infection, no idea I even had one. They said I'm basically experiencing growing pains, but that the babies look great. It's only gonna get worse, so I'm supposed to rest extra and take Tylenol on really painful days. Following up with Dr. O on Monday. A belly support band and heating pad were recommended to me to help with the pressure/pain. Just so glad they're ok and growing, we hate scares though!

FUN FACTS 
Twins are amazing! I think our favorite facts are 1, 5, 6 and 7. So interesting! Our twins have been deemed as Dichorionic Diamniotic (DCDM). That means they have separate amnions and chorions (amniotic sacs and chorionic sacs - chorionic membrane is the outer most membrane closest to the placenta). The fertility center said that they had separate placentas early on, so they're fraternal. But at the last ultrasound in the ER, it appeared that they have only one placenta to the tech. It is common to have the two placentas fuse though. We will know more regarding the placenta(s) over the next few weeks hopefully because of the testing coming up. Sometimes it's impossible to tell though and couples must wait to have the placenta examined at birth to dicifer if their babies are identical. Of course if it's a boy and girl they're fraternal. We can't wait to find out the genders!

1. Twins bond in the womb. By examining 3D ultrasound images, a study in Padova, Italy found that fetuses start deliberately interacting at 14 weeks.

2. University of Utah researchers who studied birth and death records between 1800 and 1970 found that the mothers of twins tend to live longer than moms without twins.

3. Identical twins share the same DNA but do not have the same fingerprints. Even though they have identical DNA, fingerprints are formed by babies touching the amniotic sac, whose unique forms and ridges leave us with our individual fingerprints.

4. 22 % percent of twins are left handed, compared to 10% in singletons.

5. What sounds like kids' babbling could actually be cryptophasia, a language developed between twins that only they can understand. Research published in the journal Institute of General Linguistics found that twin babies often use each other to learn vocabulary. The research estimates that up to 40 percent of twins create a private language.

6. A mother's chest will heat up or cool down to regulate the temperature of a baby held on her chest. When a mother holds twins, each breast can independently adjust its own temperature to account for each child.

7. How to tell apart identical twins? Belly buttons! They are not genetic, they are scars left from removing the umbilical cord; and each one is slightly unique.

8. About 1 in 250 pregnancies results in identical twins.

9. The birthrate for twins has increased 76% since 1980, an uptick that some experts attribute to older women having children (women in their thirties are more likely than women in their twenties to have twins). Or maybe women are getting taller: A Long Island Jewish Medical Center study found that women who birth twins or other multiples were, on average, more than an inch taller than women who only birthed one child at a time.

10. For polar bears, twins aren’t unusual at all. In fact, they most commonly give birth to twins, and rarely deliver single cubs or triplets.

11. An extremely rare condition called superfetation occurs when a pregnant woman continues to menstrate and a second embryo forms. Often, the fetus conceived last is born prematurely, while the fetus conceived first is carried to term, but in some cases, the babies are born on the same day.

12. There is a “twin gene” – fraternal twining, which is the result of a woman releasing more than one egg at the same time, is genetically predisposed. Identical twins are the result of a random split of a single egg and cannot be genetically predisposed.

13. Nigeria has the highest rate of multiple births and more identical twins. China has the lowest rate for multiple births averaging 1 in 300.

14. Just as any brothers and sisters, fraternal twins will have about half of their genetic makeup in common. They will share about 50% of their DNA, the same as any siblings. Each individual receives half of their DNA from Mom's egg and half from Dad's sperm, and so any two offspring will have some overlapping qualities.

15. A study shows vegans are five times less likely to have twins than women who consume dairy. 

16. They tend to be early – over 60% of twins are born before 37 weeks. The average birth weight for a twin is 5lbs, 5 oz.

17. Due to complications such as the water breaking prematurely, twins can sometimes be born weeks to months apart. The record for time between births of twins is thought to be 87 days, nearly 3 months.

18. During pregnancy, the placenta provides vital sustenance to the baby. In a multiple pregnancy with dizygotic (fraternal) twins, a placenta develops for each baby. Sometimes, however, the two placentas fuse together and appear to be one single placenta. Since some monozygotic (identical) twins have one placenta, this can make it difficult to determine zygosity (identical or fraternal) in utero. Because they have their own placentas, fraternal twins are not at risk for some of the risky conditions that affect monozygotic twins, such as TTTS.

19. Three-fourths of all twins are fraternal. Half of these pairs are boy/girl, one-fourth girl/girl, and one-fourth boy/boy.

20. Fraternal twins are not expected to have the same intelligence level or rate of growth. They're no more alike than regular nontwin siblings.

It's okay to not be okay this Thanksgiving! - Holidays are HARD!

"It's okay to not be okay this Thanksgiving." 

http://news.recombine.com/2015/11/23/okay-not-okay-thanksgiving/

How well was that said!?! And it's so true! I bawled like a baby while reading this article. We have felt all of these emotions, and still feel some. While we are so very grateful for our sweet little twins on the way, we are still terrified and worry if they'll make it here safely. And, we still mourn the loss of our angel baby, Cannon. We don't have a baby to hold in our arms yet, so we too still haven't made it to the "other side". My heart hurts with you this holiday season.

Holidays are so hard for those who struggle with infertility. This was supposed to be YOUR year. The year you got a positive pregnancy test. The year to buy baby clothes, decorate, or finally have a little one to put in your nursery. Or the year you could FINALLY buy a "baby's first Christmas" ornament, because your tree just isn't complete without it. This was supposed to be the year you were able to ENJOY the holidays again! The year you had an adorable pregnant belly or sonogram pictures to show off. Or to be able to say "we're pregnant!" to all the annoying and insensitive people who constantly ask when you're going to have a baby. The year that an adoption DIDN'T fall through. I spent many years struggling at holidays...easter, mother's day (this last one was especially hard because of the miscarriage), father's day, thanksgiving, christmas, etc.

I loved this article because it's so honest. It's ok to be angry, and to feel as if you don't currently have much to be grateful for. Many of us haven't beat infertility yet. We haven't personally. I hope this article can bring you some comfort. I hope you know that even though the past years have sucked beyond belief, that there are still people who love you. People who understand. You're not alone. God loves you and is mindful of your situation. While we sometimes majorly question his plans for us, he's still there listening even though it doesn't feel like it. We hope you can enjoy this holiday season to the best of your ability. Or, if you hate it and it's bah humbug all the way, that's okay too! ;)

While we don't have babies in our arms quite yet, I still am so grateful for my loving and hard working husband, my wonderful siblings, nieces and nephews, my extremely generous parents, and our weeniedog, Slinky. He has gotten me through so many years of tears.

Please feel free to always share our blog posts, you never know who it may help!

11 weeks! - The babies now have tongues and nipples, he he!

The babies have been growing a ton! They now have fingernails, visible nipples (I think that's so cute for some reason), individual fingers and toes (no more webbed tootsies or fingers), a tongue, open nasal passages on the tiny tips of their noses, and their hair follicles are starting to form. So amazing, I absolutely love reading about their weekly development. We are truly God's greatest creations! The babies are about or just over 2 inches long now, the size of a lime. If we are having any girls, her ovaries are starting to form this week. Daddy thinks we will be having one of each, and I'm thinking two boys! We shall see soon!

My next appointment will be with the high risk center, just waiting for their call to schedule an appointment. We will be doing the NT testing then. It is done between 11 and 14 weeks. It is a simple ultrasound, along with some bloodwork. They measure the babies' neck folds to check for Downs Syndrome, etc. I know, this test sounds a little weird, but it's apparently quite accurate. Hopefully they both look great! Depending on the sexes of the babies, the bloodwork portion may not be very useful to us. Usually isn't for multiples. My doctor explained it like this...I have three sets of DNA circulating through my blood right now (cool!). If we were having one of each and the bloodwork comes back abnormal for a female, we would know the baby girl has an issue since I'm healthy. Same with a boy, I'm obviously not a boy so that one is pretty easy to dicifer which baby as well. But, if we are having two boys or two girls, it gets more complicated. We wouldn't know which baby has the issues. The machine that sorts the DNA is pretty good at sorting two people's, but when you're having more than one baby of the same sex, it becomes harder to sort. We will atleast know something by the neck measurements, but will have to see what we are expecting before going ahead with the bloodwork portion. Make sense? Thought that was cool and interesting. We have amazing technology now a days. If it weren't for science, we wouldn't be expecting twins! :) I'm sure the babies are just fine.

I have been feeling more hungry, and have been able to keep down lots more water. Still throwing up most evenings though. Five nights total though so far without any puking! Yay Unisom, and for being further along! I have felt really dizzy this last week, and this ligament pain is terrible. I guess the dizziness is due to the Progesterone opening up my blood vessels more to carry blood to the babies. I almost fell over twice in the bathroom this morning while brushing my teeth, ha ha. Not fun. And I'm hoping this pain from the Round Ligaments softening and stretching subsides soon, hurts sooo bad. I actually cried last night while we were out at Hobby Lobby because it was so painful. I've discovered walking isn't my friend, and it's starting to hurt worse to get up off the couch, out of bed, and out of the car especially. But, I am so thrilled to almost be three months along! And, there are two little limes in there, so I think I can forgive the ligaments for being excruciatingly painful, ha ha. My body is adjusting for two littles afterall. So cool and still hasn't fully sunk in!! Been eating lots of my Granny's delicious bottled peaches, loving grapes lately, bananas, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, fruity pebbles, baked potatoes, and raisins. Beef and pork are still a no no, gag. However, I can do tuna and pollock fish burgers from Costco on occasion. Weird. I got me some tasty prenatal calcium supplements since I'm allergic to dairy. They are quite good, big fan of the gummy vitamins! 

I haven't gotten my What to Expect When You're Expecting book out in awhile. But, I have to say, it was extremely exciting to move my bookmark from the "how to cope with pregnancy loss" section to the "third month"! BAM!!! Ha ha. We hope with all of our hearts that things keep going well! Thanks for all of your kind and uplifting comments.

Check out my bloated belly! I seriously look quite pregnant already, but it's all bloat. I feel like a human balloon! I can feel my uterus down low, but it ain't this big, ha ha. Oh well, I still love it! Can't wait to have a real belly though.

First OB ultrasound & Making a game plan with the doctor!

Well, today was AMAZING!!!

First, both babies heart rates and measurements were PERFECT! Each 165 bpm and 10 weeks 2 days. They no longer look like little gummy bears, they're full on adorable, little, itty bitty babies now! I wish soo bad Blake could have came today, it was by far the coolest ultrasound yet. Except for when we found out there are two in there of course! They come close though, today was really awesome. We have never gotten to do this before, never made it this far. We are eternally grateful to our donor couple. I wish I could give them the biggest hug right now! Tears fill my eyes when thinking of them. I have no idea what they look like because our embryo adoption was anonymous, but I have my own tender picture in my head.

I got to see Baby A's adorable tiny feet! He/she was extremely active, flopping and dancing all over the place. Legs, arms, head...everything was much more visible this time. Baby B was a little more difficult to see. He/she was quite lazy and was curled up sleeping at first. It took a minute to wake her/him up and start moving. Still didn't get to see it as good as the other one, but it was amazing none the less! I'm so in love with these two tiny people already. Until today, having twins hasn't completely seemed real. Too good to be true after all of our years of heartache. But, looking at them today and seeing them move, float around, and wave their little legs and arms...we're definitely having twins people!!

Secondly, I LOVVVVE my new doctor. A muuuch better experience than with the nurse practitioner last week. He spent a ton of time talking with me in his office after my ultrasound. He explained everything that's going to happen over the course of the pregnancy...how having multiples is completely different than a singleton, when we're going to schedule all the upcoming appointments, scans, ultrasounds and whatnot. I will be seeing a high risk specialist for all my scans and ultrasounds. But, he said everything looks great, so I will see him twice a month for now. Once a week after 30 weeks. He knows we are scared to death because of our previous miscarriage, but he said there's no reason to realllly worry because the babies look excellent. Risk of miscarriage goes drastically down in two weeks, so here's to hoping all continues to go well! I'm only considered medium risk to him right now because the babies look so good and because I don't have any health problems. Phew!! I'm really looking forward to getting to know him better. He was very caring, didn't rush me, did an extra belly ultrasound because he "wanted to see them in person also!", and even gave me his personal cell number! All the things I've been worrying about for the past two weeks have totally melted away. He was absolutely wonderful! I got the go ahead to go walking, exercise, etc. Just nothing too crazy of course. I've become much weaker from not doing much, and my darn shots made me really short of breath (like winded to go upstairs, it's sad). So, it might take a bit to get back to normal, but it'll be great once I'm there. I don't know how appropriate this is to publicly share lol, but my only restriction right now is no funny business. Until the placenta has moved, that's a big no no with Placenta Previa with twins. Along with lifting really heavy things. But, it makes sense,  we want these littles to get here safely!

Lastly, I've cried more today than I'd like to admit. But, seeing those two tiny amazing little people on that ultrasound screen was the neatest and cutest thing I've ever seen. They're adorable already! These pictures definitely don't do them justice, it was much more clear and awesome in person. And, I hear the high risk doctors have super awesome equipment! Looking forward to that, woo! But, here they are...officially labeled as Baby A and Baby B! Baby A is on my left side and B is on my right...as far as uterus location goes. Love you babies, stay happy and healthy!

Here's a profile of Baby B and a front shot of Baby A :) Fun fact - the baby closest to the exit is always deemed Baby A. We thought that was interesting.  It is also the one with its placenta still partially over my cervix. Can't wait to find out the genders in a few short weeks, ahhhhhhh!!!!! :) Sorry Mom, not sure if we can wait til Christmas to find out, ha ha. It might just have to be our wedding anniversary present to ourselves instead :)

Ps...I am doing much better with traveling now! Was able to drive myself to the doctor today without getting dizzy and violently vomiting once I got there, yayyy for Unisom!!

10 weeks! - Last injection, bloated belly & chips!

Yay! My bloodwork came back good, that means the babies' placentas are doing great. The Progesterone needed to be at least 20 and it's 59. And the Estrogen needed to be over 1,000 and it's 2,631. So...I did my last shot this morning!! So happy I could cry. My sides are so dry, red, and itchy :( Hoping they heal quickly! Hated these shots, but they've kept our precious little ones in there for 7 weeks now. They couldn't have made it on their own, so we are extremmmely grateful!

Well I don't have an adorable round baby belly, but my tummy is definitely getting tighter and more bloated looking! Definitely can't suck in anything anymore, ha ha. I can't wait to have a cute pregnant belly, I have waited almost nine years to have one. I hope our little piglets keep doing well and continue to grow grow grow!

I am officially 10 weeks yesterday and headed toward the second trimester. So crazy, can't believe I'm saying that! Can't wait to see our cute babies on the ultrasound screen on Tuesday. Sadly, Blake can't make it because of work, but at least we will know they're still ok. I've been spotting more often, which they said to expect, but I've still been extra nervous. I don't want a kajillion ultrasounds, but I can't describe how big of a relief it is to see that they're still doing ok. It's going to take a lot to convince me that everything really IS ok I think, ha ha. Getting to hear their little heartbeats is so amazing. Can't believe there's TWO in there! So, hopefully Tuesday goes well. I have a meeting with my new OB after the ultrasound, hoping he's great. I have so many questions...naturally, I'm terrified. So, I hope he doesn't disappoint. I'm so impatient, wish I could have just met with him on Friday, but he was out delivering babies. I guess I can forgive him ;)

This week: the babies' gums are growing tiny teeth buds in them, they now have bending elbows, their little stomachs and kidneys have started working, and they're each the size of a prune. That's 1.5 inches long! So cute, we love them already! I was craving chips the other night, so glad Blake was willing to go to the store for me at 10pm, ha ha. I didn't even have to ask. He's so funny, he said, "I wonder if it's the head bobber or the waver (the babies' motions from our previous ultrasound) that wants the chips? We're going to have some crazy womb service orders with twins!" Cracked me up. Blake loved this baby cartoon we saw online awhile back. And yes, I'm weird and dunked my chips in my yogurt. It was so good! Still can't imagine eating pickles in my icecream though, bleh...

Our first OB appointment - ultrasound on Tuesday!

Well today didn't go as expected, ha ha. Not really sure what we were expecting since this was our first real "baby appointment" and we've never been to one before...but I thought we'd at least get to hear the heart beats I guess? Felt like a waste of time. All we got to do was a urine sample, bloodwork, talked briefly with the NP, and received a welcome bag with some fun little things in it. We met with a Nurse Practitioner today, but I will get to meet our doctor before Thanksgiving though. Which is good, because I wasn't really impressed with the NP today. She didn't listen well, and somehow missed the Placenta Previa on my paperwork, so I wasn't going to have an ultrasound for three weeks, ha ha. I was like um yeah I'm gonna need one sooner than that. I have a million questions for our doctor, ha ha. I'm very excited, I've heard he's really good. He's also the Chief of Ob/Gyn at a nearby hospital. 

They aren't going to do a Pap Smear or any other exam until the Placenta Previa clears up, so all we have going on in the near future is an ultrasound this coming Tuesday and another just before Thanksgiving. Those are to check on the babies, but also for some of the early testing. Since we used donor embryos, the parents were screened for Cystic Fibrosis and whatnot before their IVF cycle, so we get to skip all that stuff. I also learned today the name of the ligament causing me so much pain.  The Round Ligaments  (http://www.babycenter.com/0_round-ligament-pain_205.bc). Causes dull achy pains, as well as sharp pains, especially when getting up or rolling over. This ligament supports your pelvis and uterus as your uterus grows. With multiples, it can cause pain before the second trimester because of the faster growing uterus. It does afterall have to accommodate more than one little baby :) I found this website helpful, it has tips on how to help cope and alleviate the pain. So if you're suffering, take a look! I'm definitely gonna try the warm bath and knee stretches.

I'm waiting to quit my shots until we get my Estrogen and Progesterone levels back from today's bloodwork. Usually the baby's placenta is good to go by week 10 and is producing all the needed hormones, but we think it's better to be safe than sorry. The fertility center said that doing injections for a few extra days won't hurt a thing. I hate my shots but it's totally worth it! We want to make sure that their little placentas are good to go :) We want healthy babies!

So, we will see you back on here on Tuesday. Not much else to report on. We did go on a yummy date afterwards to Pf Changs though, and I was able to eat the mongolian beef! Woo hoo! Apparently it's the only beef I can stomach, probably because it's total deliciousness. But, I'm still throwing up, still bloated and miserable, and sleeping a ton :) All good signs. Been eating lots of apples and peanut butter! Hopefully our little peanuts are still ok, Tuesday can't come soon enough. I really liked having an ultrasound every other week with the fertility center, ha ha. It was comforting. I know it's only been a week since our last one ha ha, but having twins is kinda scary! 

Finally home - Can't believe I was gone for 70 days!

Not sure what to do with myself, I am finally home after 70 days! Ha ha. Slept in my own bed for two nights now! Sadly, it wasn't as magnificent as I had envisioned. I imagined myself laying on a cloud with my beloved minky blanket, immediately falling asleep, being the perfect temperature all night, not even waking up during the night to potty. However, I got up 3 times every night, froze for some reason, took forever to fall asleep, and tossed and turned most of the night. I got used to a comfy air mattress while I was gone, so my normal bed pushes on my sore injection sites :( Boo!

Blake is so cute though, every time I get up he pops up and says, "Are you ok!?" He he. I love that he is so caring, attentive, and helpful...even when he's mostly asleep, ha ha. I came home to a sparkly clean house also! Yay for super duper awesome husbands, he's going to make this pregnancy so much less stressful! He works so hard, so it means a lot that he helps out more than his fair share around the house. Can't wait to be done with my shots on Friday, and to have my knots and bruises go away soon! Sleeping will be much more comfortable for us both then, me flipping and flopping prevents both of us from sleeping good.

Before I headed to Utah for the treatment in the end of August, we had just moved to a new state because my hubby transferred for work. So I only spent 2.5 weeks in this house was all. It was weird coming back because it didn't seem like it'd feel like home, but I forgot how cute it is! We were insane and practically killed ourselves unpacking a bunch of stuff before I left, so glad we did now! Anyways, I was so sad and emotional to leave my family, but after a couple of relaxing days in my cute house and a yummy dinner with my hubby last night...I think I will be ok :) Slinky is great company, and he is very happy things are back to normal. How cute is my little nap and movie buddy?! Yay for having to take it easy.

Oh, and check out my new fridge decor! I LOVE sonogram photos. I'm going to absolutely plaster our fridge with them!! We are SOO excited for these precious babies. So very grateful to our donor couple, and also to our Heavenly Father. I am crying just typing this. While we continue to pray that things keep going well because it's still early in the pregnancy, we are still just so blessed and overwhelmed with happiness. After we lost Cannon, I wasn't sure that I could ever feel this way again. So grateful for answered prayers...x2! I was beyond terrified that this treatment wouldn't be successful, but I tried so hard to just put it all in the Lord's hands. What a wonderful miracle we got!

"Look unto me in every thought. Doubt not, fear not." D&C 6:36

9 week ultrasound & Only 7 more days of shots!!

THE BABIES!
BOTH of the babies looked great today! Their heart rates were 175 and 192. And they both measured about 2.26cm. The size of a green olive! They have grown a TON just since last week, and we could see them much better! Today one of the baby's was bobbing it's head around, and the other was moving it's tiny little arm up and down. Sooo cute and fun to see! So special for us because this is as far as we've ever made it. I think they were trying to tell us, "Hi Mom and Dad, we are doing good!" ;) This is the best shot that she could get of them both. Kind of a funny angle, Baby B on the right looks tinier and squished, but it's really not. I'm officially 9 weeks tomorrow, and just need to follow up with an OB at home. Hope we find a good one!

My placenta is still partially over the cervix but they're confident it will move within the next few weeks. If it doesn't, they usually move by week 20 or so at the latest. Worst case scenario, it never moves and I will have to have a c-section. But, I have a feeling that's probably going to happen anyways. So, I am not gonna stress over it anymore! :) So glad Blake was able to be in Utah with me for the ultrasound again. We go home tomorrow! I can now go home a lot less stressed, the babies are ok!!! I will miss my favorite nurse Johanna :(

Thanks to my parents for everything, this wouldn't have been possible without them and their generosity!!!

SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS!
I can't believe that I've only got a week of shots left! I am so nervous, but so excited. I'm starting to get the numb and random painful burning areas on my legs again from them. I only do shots in my hips (upper buttox), but it must cause some nerve damage or something in other places, because my thighs hurt. This happened last time and took months to go away. 

I will also not miss days like the pictures below...I think it's safe to say we hit a big vein the other day, lol. It literally sprayed full blast out of the injection site and onto the floor. Wouldn't quit bleeding, got everywhere, and left a giant bruise complete with a massive knot. Makes sitting and sleeping really fun. Fun times. Sorry, I know it's gross, but this is reality...fertility treatments aren't pleasant. I'm not sure what I will do with myself on November 14th! No shot in the morning, no suppositories, no evening shot...just my prenatal vitamins. Yay for November 13th!!

I am much less nervous to quit the shots after my nurse told me that the babies' placentas are up and running around nine weeks (which is totally awesome!), but it's still so nerve racking. I will soon be a big girl though and will be growing TWO babies all by myself! ;) Thanks to all my shot givers over the last two months!!!

8 weeks - A new book & What the twins are up to!

The babies are growing a ton, they went from a blueberry to the size of a large raspberry in just a week! That's 10,000 times bigger than at conception. Amazing! I just love reading about this stuff. The book I ordered came yesterday, it's about having multiples. Can't wait to read more! Thanks for the recommendation Sara, it's awesome. I miss you!!

So many people think that having twins isn't much different than having a singleton (yes, that word is now in our vocabulary, ha ha) baby, but it definitely is! So far I have learned that I will have different dietary needs, more frequent doctor visits, stricter physical activity/work restrictions (thank goodness I'm a stay at home wifey now), and will be at higher risk for medical complications. There are TWO babies in there afterall. Just because there's two though doesn't mean that all is doom and gloom...women can have very healthy multiple pregnancies. From what I'm reading, our goal will be to reach 35 weeks. Anything more would be wonderful! While I am considered high risk because of there being two babies, plus the Placenta Previa, and history of infertility, and a miscarriage...I still cannot wait to get home and find a fantastic doctor that we can ask a million questions! ;)

This week: the twins can twitch their tiny trunks, and arms and legs. I can't feel it, but they're moving! Their little kidneys are getting ready to do their job as well. They're already producing brain cells at the rate of 100 per minute, and their little tails are almost gone. Their heart rates are around 150, and their tiny lips, noses, eyelids, and legs continue to take shape. So crazy! Pregnancy is such an amazing and mind boggling thing.

I'm not showing a distinct cute little round belly yet, though some women do this early with twins. So far, I'm just super bloated looking in my lower pelvic area. It's getting less squishy feeling and more tight (not gonna lie, I have some tummy chub). My stomach area is also bloaty. Mom and I are wondering how much of that will go away once I can quit these injections in a couple of weeks though? But, I can feel something firmer in there down low when I'm laying down. Exciting!

With twins, your ligaments soften at a faster rate to accommodate the faster growing uterus. This explains the pain and pressure feelings I've been having. My fertility doctor said it's totally normal and that things are just growing! But, I'm literally having growing pains, ha ha. Sounds funny. I'd lost some more weight before the treatment, but still had some to go - so I may take a little longer to show. Never know, maybe not with twins. But, I have to wear maternity pants and shirts already because I'm so bloated, ha ha. All symptoms welcome though, just so grateful to be able to experience pregnancy once again! Sick and bloated = good!

Hoping the Unisom and B6 keep giving me major relief, I was sooo miserable and dehydrated. If you're not a lucky freak of nature, morning sickness is very intense with multiples. I'm throwing up only once or twice a day now vs. five to eight! Yay Unisom, I'll take it!! These maternity clothes rock though, they really do. We will see how I feel in like four months though, finding clothes may get difficult...lol.

Our next ultrasound is Friday, cross your fingers for us! Hoping so badly that both babies are still doing good. I don't think I will ever shake the fear of, "Are you suuuure they're ok?!?" This Placenta Previa is stressing me out :( Thanks to those few that have messaged me and said they had it too. So nice to feel like you're not alone! And, getting info is also very helpful :)

See you again on Friday evening

Happy Halloween!

The twins latest pictures, love our little monsters already! 

I love these skeleton baby shirts!! I've always wanted to be pregnant at Halloween, and it's finally happening! I ordered this before we knew we were having twins ha ha, so I just added a "x2"! He he. So exciting!

Since Blake wasn't going to be able to be with me for Halloween, I took a picture of him before he left last weekend. So funny. His shirt is from last year but it still goes along with mine this year I think, he always has my back :)

Also, is this not the cutest little bunny you've ever seen?! Love my little niecey to pieces!

A very scary morning turned out to be an ok afternoon! - Gonna lose my marbles before these two get here!

I woke up yesterday, went to the bathroom...and BAM! My world ended. Blood is NOT anything I wanted to see this entire pregnancy! Not how I wanted to wake up yesterday either. I was instantly terrified. I started bawling and saying no no no! I literally couldn't believe my eyes, it just wasn't registering in my brain that I was seeing blood. It was like a nightmare. I was so confused, everything had been going SO good! But, this is just about when we lost Cannon, almost to the day. So I've been extra nervous. I called and texted my favorite nurse in a panic. No answer. Emailed my doctor. No answer. Of course these sweet ladies can't foresee that I'm going to be experiencing issues and reply immediately. But, that was one of those instances that I really wished it were so. But, within 20 minutes my nurse called back and said, "Yes come in! We need to check on those little babies!" 

So, my little brother and sister went with me to St. George because my Momma had been helping with my sister's sweet new baby all night. So thankful for them! I love my Bubbie and Sis so much! I couldn't drive myself, and I needed support and a distraction ha ha - they're both quite the characters! However, that was still the LONGEST two hour drive of my stinkin life!! I seriously thought I was going to go insane. Time to think is NOT good. I kept thinking...are they both gone? Is only one having issues? Is there something wrong with ME, why can't I get past 8 weeks!? Is there a subchorionic hemorrhage and they missed it somehow? Should we even bother with our last transfer? We felt so good about this treatment, why isn't it working out?? I truly was preparing myself for awful news. I couldn't get a hold of Blake either. That turned out to be a good thing though, he would have been so sick with worry all afternoon at work. No one in Vegas that I called could get me in, I was so upset. And, it'd cost us a fortune to go to an ER while out of state with our new insurance. I love my fertility center and their staff so much anyways, so it worked out to just drive there. My baby sister kept saying, "I'm sure they're both fine, think positive!" And I would just sniffle and say, "I can't, it's happening again, just like last time." So glad she was right!

 One of the other fertility doctors did my ultrasound (I hadn't met him yet, he was super nice though). I honestly was fearing the worst. My heart was already breaking. The bleeding was too similar to last time, so I braced myself as he started the ultrasound. I don't know if I was even breathing, it couldn't be good news right!? BUT, our precious little twins were ok! Before we could finish the ultrasound I had to go potty again because my semi-full bladder was blocking our view. Ugh! But, atleast he showed me the two heart beats before my bathroom trip so that I could start relaxing. Bless his heart!! Monica was able to come in the room with me and see the babies on the ultrasound screen. We even got to hear their little heart beats again, such a comforting sound!! Their heart rates were great (153 and 148) and they still measured ok.

We discovered that the reason for the bleeding wasn't anything to freak out about just yet. No subchorionic hemorrhages lifting the placentas. I actually have Placenta Previa. One of the babies placenta's attached very low and is partially covering my cervix opening in my uterus. Usually it corrects itself (even though it can take awhile), and slides over on to the uterus wall as the baby grows bigger, where it can continue to grow. Our next ultrasound is in a week. So we can check on the placenta again then. What a relief!! I was sooo scared and was so afraid we wouldn't see any heart beats. But, our babies are still going strong! 

Please keep us in your prayers, we really hope the one placenta moves to where it should be! We will be so heartbroken if we can't get them BOTH here and healthy. So grateful that we still have two sweet raspberries in there! I said a prayer before we left yesterday, for everything to be ok because we CAN'T handle another loss. So grateful that Heavenly Father comforted me and that all turned out ok! It definitely could have been worse. If you have a serious case, Placenta Previa can be a major issue...hemorrhages, miscarriage, low birth weight, etc. So glad he said mine isn't anything to freak out about. I'm supposed to rest and drink a ton of fluids until the blood that's trapped passes and the placenta moves. Hang in there babies, please don't give us any more heart attacks!!! 

Before leaving I asked the doctor for a picture for my blog. He gave us great news afterall! And, he explained everything very well and was very hopeful. He said, "You have a blog?" I said, "Yep I do, and people from many different countries follow us!" He said, "Wow, that's somethin! Here let's hold up the pictures, and if it's ok I will do this." (thumbs up) He he :) My poor face was so red and puffy from crying that morning and crying more after we got the good news that I had to make it black and white, lol. But, I flew outta the house like a crazy person, didn't even brush my hair. What do you expect, ha ha.

I'm an Auntie!! - Welcome baby Joyce!

My younger sister just welcomed her first baby yesterday afternoon! This is the beautiful little cousin who was due just weeks after our Cannon would have been. She is SOO beautiful, we got to go visit last night. I may have puked a few times in the grass when we got there because car rides make me so sick, but it was definitely worth it! A nice lady let me have a banana from one of their maternity tour food carts. Life saver! Anyway, we are all so in love, she's perfect in every way. She's a great mix of her parents, but they change so quickly. On her birthday day, she wasn't born with much hair like her daddy was and it's fairly light colored (all us kids had mass amounts of black or dark brown hair). She seems to have his ears and nose, and my sister's beautiful eyes and lips. Everyone is saying how she doesn't look like a newborn, she's so pretty and looks a month old already. She was 18 inches and over 7.5 lbs. She opened her eyes for us and said hello, melted my heart! Blake is gonna die when he sees her!! I can't believe we will be doing this in May/June...with TWINS!! My favorite picture is the one of her lovingly looking at my sister. This pretty baby knows who her Momma is! Congrats to my sister's cute family! Baby J has everyone wrapped around her itty bitty little finger already :) I know that our angel baby Cannon is watching over this new and precious cousin! 

Still in shock! - Pregnancy brain is REAL people!

I am still in shock that there are TWO little babies in my body! I have dreamed of having twins since I was a little girl. My dolls were twins, my Barbies and stuffed animals always had twins, my younger sister and I pretended to be twins, both my grandfathers have twin sisters, my great grandmother, and great uncle had two sets of twins! Twins are all over in my family, both sides. I've always thought that myself or one of my siblings would for sure have twins, but when infertility struck my heart sank. My dream of having twins was crushed. Especially after we ended up with zero embryos to transfer on transfer day back in 2008 when we did IVF. But, my dream was made much more possible by our amazing anonymous donor couple last year! I cry at least a couple of times a day out of gratitude, we feel so unbelievably blessed. There isn't a prayer or words good enough to thank God for this miracle, so I'm glad that he knows what's in our hearts. They're overflowing, plus some!

I truly believe that our hearts couldn't have handled this treatment being unsuccessful. Heavenly Father definitely hears our prayers! We are still nervous for our 9 week ultrasound, that's when we found out that Cannon had passed away. But, we are comforted by my ongoing morning sickness, extreme tiredness, and wacky emotions ;) That means all is still hopefully going well in the baby house! We are thrilled that I still have not experienced any spotting this treatment. Hopefully all continues to go smoothly. Still so crazy to me that I had bleeding issues with Cannon (a single baby), but not with the twins. Seems backwards. Unfortunately, the growing placentas can sometimes hit an arterie. It's just bad luck the fertility center said. But, I think me and my Mom are right...Cannon was urgently needed back in heaven for a greater adventure. Love you baby Cannon, thank you for sending Mommy and Daddy TWO little siblings!! We are having TWINS, woooo hoooo! 

I am still craving mustard, pickles, tomatoes (so yay for smoked turkey sandwiches!), potatoes of any kind, white grape juice, lemonade, tuna sandwiches, lays stax chips, and rice chex. Still throwing up several times a day, getting more and more tired, very clumsy, feel and look very bloated, and my sniffer has gone into overdrive. Smells bother me...A LOT, ha ha. I've also discovered that pregnancy brain is REAL people!! I'm such a Forgetful Franny. It's really irritating me, ha ha. Yesterday I got up three times and still didn't get what I needed, grr! My skin is still quite soft and clear though, my nails are growing like weeds, but my hands are extremely dry and have an itchy rash on the tops of them. Hoping it's just from a new lotion and isn't here to stay. It is driving me nutsss! Baby lotion seems to be the only thing that doesn't irritate it. Kinda funny. I know a lot of women get itchy rashes during pregnancy and can have extra sensitive skin. So we will see what happens. I'm also experiencing major traveling issues. I would have looked better and happier on ultrasound day, but I had just ruined most of my face makeup, along with my esophagus ha ha, by violently throwing up in the bathroom two minutes before the ultrasound. When I'm in the car it doesn’t matter if I'm driving, a passenger, or whatever...I'm sooo sick! I can't look out the windshield because it feels as if we are in a fishbowl going super fast. Just intensified motion sickness, or a balance issue? It's not an altitude thing because it doesn't matter if it's a local 15 minute ride or a four hour out of state drive. Gag! Whatever it is, it makes me feel dizzy and weird in the head. My nurse had never heard of that, but one of my cousins said that happened to her with two pregnancies and she couldn't drive for a few months. I'm just glad I'm super talented and held it in by some miracle until we got to the fertility center ;) Otherwise, poor Mom's Lincoln! I luckily carry trash bags in my purse though.

Please say a prayer that Blake and I will not stress too badly over our next ultrasound. I was a nervous wreck the entire week of the last one. We are hopeful, but terrified x 2! Ha ha. Thanks for all of your love and support!

I forgot to post this cute picture that my mom took on ultrasound day. Soo happy that Blake was able to be there. He is also coming for our other one on the 6th! :)

Ultrasound results are in - Holy. Freaking. Crap!!!

Holy. Freaking. Crap!!! That's all I can think to say right now to sum up our feelings, ha ha!

We were sooo very scared today, afraid of the worst of course after suffering a miscarriage. But, low and behold...there were TWO sweet little blueberries on the screen! Both our snowflakes attached (fraternal twins) and measured perfectly. They BOTH (can't believe I'm saying that!) have healthy heartbeats, each at 123 bpm. Anything over 100 is good. Baby A measured at 6 wks 3 days, and Baby B measured at 6 wks 4 days. Estimated due date is June 12th, but they'll most likely take them in the end of May. We are still in total shock, ha ha! Maybe we can relax more after our next ultrasound. For the sake of Mommy's and Daddy's sanity, stay healthy babies!!

I am officially 7 weeks tomorrow (they base it off your transfer date), and we follow up in two weeks to make sure all still looks good. Many happy tears shed today! To top things off, there are no subchorionic hemorrhages by the babies (blood pools)!! Last time I had a large one by Cannon, plus two others. We think that the large one is what caused the miscarriage, but can't be sure. 

Wish we would have recorded our ultrasound  today so you could have seen my face ha ha, but I'm so happy we did pictures at least! I said, "oh my gosh is that TWO?!" as my favorite nurse started the ultrasound. What a beautiful sight! So very happy that Blake could be there with me today, he drove hours to be there! It was such a special day for us. Best birthday present EVERRR! Me and mom were like, "oh my gosh!!" and quite vocal, lol. Blake just sat there with a big smile on his face and tears in his eyes. Melted my heart! Love my Blake to pieces. He's been so strong for me this year, though I know he was just as scared as I was today. Blake was right though I think, the trick was that BOTH Mommy and Daddy needed to be at the transfer ;) He said again today, "See, I told ya I at least needed to be in the same room." Lol. Thanks to my Momma for driving us today and being there to share in our exciting moment. She got to see the transfer as well. Love you to pieces Mom! 

Thanks for all of the love, support and sweet messages! I am still throwing up strong, extremely tired, and verry bloated. Like, I look 4 months pregnant already. My food likes and dislikes vary day to day, but I still cannot stand the smell of beef or pork. Gag!! I'm normally a carnivore, ha ha. I've been eating a lot of crackers, oranges, Zataran's brand rices, potatoes, turkey sandwiches, and drinking lots of water, apple and grape juices. I don't keep down much, but I don't even care...WE ARE HAVING TWINS!! Ahhhhhhh!!