Monday, May 30, 2016

Finally, a baby for an outfit!

I bought this outfit over 5 years ago to boost my low spirits when struggling with infertility. I remember the day so well. It wasn't a good one. It's soooo fun to finally put a sweet baby in it!!!! Love this little guy, brings me to tears to see him wearing this. I love moments like this!







Sunday, May 29, 2016

Week 2 of Parenthood! - Circumcision, exhaustion & diapers galore!

Well, we have survived week two of parenthood! Boy has it been BUSY. Feedings, changings, rockabyes, baths, pictures galore, sleeping (them not us, ha ha!), crying (me not them, ha ha! - man hormones are a bummer), etc. We go through about 25 diapers a day and I haven't even assessed how much formula. All we know is that it's a lot and that it's expensive! Nice to be able to supplement a little with breastmilk though - pediatrician wants them on mostly formula for the first while for weight gaining purposes.

 The babies were two weeks old on Friday! They're the cutest, sweetest, funniest and best babies ever. They're tons of work but they're soo worth it. I get about 3 hours of sleep a night, 5 on a good night. So glad the Lord made mommies able to still mostly function after having babies. Soo tired. So glad my trooper of a mom is still here for a few more days, she has stayed up late with the babies several nights so I could sleep. Can't heal without sleep. The twins eat every three hours, sometimes every two and a half, and are growing great! Claire can't fit as much as Cameron but they're both good little eaters. Neither are afraid to let us know when they're hungry, especially Cameron, ha ha. Takes a lot to rile up Claire. For now they're sleeping in their bassinet in our room. They hang out and sleep in the pack and play downstairs during the day. We will move them to their crib in their room at night when they're a little bigger...because right now I'm the freak of a new mom who jumps up at almost every sound, grunt, cough, squeak, and sigh to make sure they're ok and still breathing, lol. Blake and I joke about attaching a tiny mirror to something so we can hold it up to their noses to make sure they're still breathing, ha ha. Being a new parent is stressful sometimes!

They're so precious. We keep saying how weird it'd be to only have just one of them. We just can't imagine it! These two sweetpeas were definitely meant to come to us as a cute little pair. It was the same when I was pregnant, my sister was like it'd be so weird to be pregnant with two! And I was like I think it'd be weird to not be, ha ha! They love to snuggle eachother and are so sweet. They make us insanely happy and weak in the knees. They have the sweetest spirits, cutest little round toad bellies, and the softest, tiniest feet. My Dad and baby sister were able to come visit, soo fun! These babies love their Papa, Grammy and Auntie. It still blows my mind that my family is visiting US because we have babies! Soo amazing!

 
 
 

 

Cameron is still the attention hog, ha ha. He has to be snuggled longer after feedings and isn't afraid to let out a sad little whimper or screech to let us know when he needs more cuddles or food. His sweet little face and chubby cheeks are to die for! We can't get enough. I kiss his cheeks constantly. He smells so good. He makes the cutest faces, whether it's his one eye open owl face or kissy fish lips face. He is also very talented and can sprinkle over a few feet! He goes through more clothes and blankets than sissy for sure. He lovvves his binky and being rocked. I call him Maggie sometimes, the baby from The Simpsons who sucks her pacifier super loud, lol. But Grammy says we have to call him Magnus and not Maggie cause he's a boy, he he.

Big news, he survived his circumcision on Monday. Well, Mommy and Daddy survived that is. It was so sad!! It was really hard to take him but we feel it is a healthy decision. We waited in the waiting area but we could still hear our sweet baby boy wailing from the back :'( He did great though and it is healing nicely. He last weighed in at 5 lbs 9.5 oz. So he's gained just over a half pound, yay! You can definitely feel a difference when holding him. The pediatrician is happy with his weight gain so I'm not going to switch them back to the higher calorie formula, it was too rich for their little tummies. Claire especially didn't do well on it. She spit up really bad at the hospital and all her airways were clogged and she turned purple. Mom and Dad frrreaked out but quickly grabbed the boogie sucker and got her breathing again. Talk about scary!!
 
 
 

Claire is an old soul. She is so patient, sweet, and loves to just calmly look around. She eats and goes right back to sleep or just lays there and happily hangs out. She hardly cries and has the sweetest little way about her. Takes a lot to make her angry, she's like Daddy that way. Cameron's like Mommy, a little more high strung. Just a little though ;) She has the cutest little tongue you've ever seen. She loves to stretch out her super long arms and legs and actually enjoys her baths, unlike brother. She has beautiful skin and giggles the most adorable heart exploding giggle in her sleep. We will see what she weighs in two weeks for their one month check up. Her last weight was 4 lbs 8 oz about a week ago. She is starting to chub up, her face and legs are more full looking. She looks so dang cute in her birth announcement photos that I took, can't wait to post them later! Most beautiful baby girl ever...
 
 
 

I am finally starting to feel better. It's odd I've been so miserable AFTER delivery. Most women pregnant with twins suffer with ciatica, tendinitis, and extreme back pain while they're pregnant. Not after. But, I'm a freak. And, bed rest did not do me any favors. Body is such a mess. I am however impressed with how fast my belly has gone down. My mom and sister said I look amazing for having twins only two weeks ago. The female human body is miraculous though! It's amazing what it can go through and bounce back from.

I didn't need an episiotomy when delivering, probably because the babies were small. But, I did suffer a tear. Dr. O thinks it was from one of the babies fingernails/hands on the way out. He kept calling it a "dent or scratch". But I started experiencing extreme pain a couple days after being home so I went in to have the PA take a look. Her words were, "Oh honey! This is NOT a scratch! This is a 4 cm long laceration." She said Dr. O tries to not freak out his patients by using the term laceration or tear, but that was in fact exactly what it was, ha ha. They weren't able to do any additional stitches or sear it shut with silver nitrate because the risk of infection, so I've powered through and it's finally starting to feel somewhat better today. Talk about excruciating though!! That has been my biggest struggle, along with my back pain and pure exhaustion. I look like a peg legged pirate walking around. But, these two sweet snowflakes are worth every bit of pain!! Sorry if that's tmi, but that's the reality of having babies. And this is a baby blog afterall.

Nursing didn't go exactly as I had hoped. Was hoping to be a total milk cow because I really wanted to try it out. But like I mentioned before, the pediatrician wants them mostly on formula for the first bit for weight gain. So, I pump and supplement that way. The babies had some trouble latching in the beginning because their mouths were so tiny, and Cameron doesn't have the patience. But Claire has done better recently with the shields, so I hope once my milk decides to come in better that it'll all work out. Nursing is so much cheaper than formula!

Thank you for your support, kind words, and love! We are in heaven! A very tirrred heaven, but heaven none the less!

Saturday, May 21, 2016

Week 1 of Parenthood - First appointment, baby facts and some snapshots!

I can't believe they were a week old yesterday!!!  So crazy! I promise I will post about their birthday and our first few days at home very soon, we are just trying to catch up on sleep right now and recover from 3 months of bed rest, ha ha. All while feeding, cuddling and changing two sweet babies. My body is just wrecked. To say the least. Sooo glad my mom is here, Blake and I would be completely useless if she wasn't here. She is my freaking hero!!! We all look and feel like zombies, but we are loving these sweet little snowflakes to pieces!! 

Cameron is such a good and aggressive little eater. I call him a little piranha, lol. He can't get it fast enough, it's so adorable. He's a little more fussy than his sissy and loves to be cuddled. He's very alert and is super adorable with his big eyes open. He often only opens one when waking up so I call him 'little owl baby', he he. His main nickname so far though is Buster. He's quite laid back also. We are all in love with his chubby cheeks! He weighed in at 5 lbs 4 oz at the pediatrician's yesterday. He's gained 140 grams since the hospital. He weighed 5 lbs 1 oz when born and 4 lbs 14 oz when we left the hospital. He is doing very well and his belly button already fell off. Sissy's fell off only a few hours later. How twinnie of them! :)

Claire is the sweetest, tiniest and most laid back baby I've ever seen. She's a slower eater but is doing great and keeps up with brother. She dreams a lot and makes more noises when sleeping than Cameron. When she's awake you can tell she's deep in thought by her cute little expressions. Her lips are the cutest things ever. She weighed in at 4 lbs 8 oz at the pediatrician's yesterday. Her birth weight was 4 lbs 7 oz and she was 4 lbs 3 oz when we left the hospital. She's gained 100 grams. They were happy with her progress as well. 

For these sweet little ones not being from our own dna, Cameron looks a TON like my brother when he was born! Same head shape and look of face. He looks like my side of the family and Claire looks like Blake to me. She has smaller and a little bit closer together eyes. And her profile reminds me of his too. Both babies have my family's "dolphin toes" (curved piggy toes), Claire has my long toes and chin dimple, and they both have my small pointed upper lips. Cameron has big hands like Daddy too. So fun!! They're definitely meant to be our precious little babies! Beyond grateful they found us. I cry often just looking at them. They're so beautiful and it all still seems like a dream. Last night as I sat in their room rocking Cameron I started to cry. We are finalllly able to use all our adorable baby stuff after all these years. The emotions just hit me like a brick wall out of nowhere and quite often. We have children! Us!! These sweet and beautiful babies are ours for eternity. 

First doctor appointment 
 Loving their Twin Z Pillow from Papa and Grammy 
Owl baby! 
Milk smiles 
Cuddle bugs 
Tiny Clairebear 
Cameron toesies
Chubber cheeks 
 Itty bitty babe 
Bottle with Daddy 
Beautiful little piglet
Milk smiles 
Claire toesies 
 


Sunday, May 15, 2016

Most beautiful babies ever!

These two have completely stolen our hearts!! We are so over the moon right now! Cameron is adorable, sweet, snuggly and has the saddest cry you've ever heard. Claire is so tiny, precious, a great eater and has stolen the hearts of many nurses. We should all be going home tomorrow!  Cameron had some very slight glucose issues on Friday but he is doing great and didn't have to be admitted to the NICU. Words cannot express how grateful we are for these two very precious little souls!

I will post all about their "birthday" after we get home, settled and I'm no longer a zombie, lol. But to summarize...I felt only an hours worth of mild contractions (because I spent too much time on one side which caused an epidural "window" before their arrival - otherwise woulda been nothing), but I went from just over 3cm to 7 in like 4 hours, and from 7cm to 10 in just 15 minutes. Had Claire out in 3 quick pushes and Cameron out with only 5 or 6 quick ones, just 5 minutes later! Time from entering the OR to being done was less than 30 minutes. One lucky girl!!! The misery came afterwards. Had to stay on Pitocin for several hours after their arrival because you have a higher risk of hemorrhaging with multiples, plus it helps your uterus to shrink back down quicker. Not fun!! But I survived and they're beautiful! :)









Friday, May 13, 2016

Welcome to the world beautiful babies!!! - So in love!

Our beautiful snowflakes are here!!!!!! Labor was easy on me. The babies are super healthy and as beautiful as can be! I was able to deliver naturally and it was so much less terrifying than I thought. Dr O said I was a champ. Will update later because we have been up for over 24 hrs, but here are some pictures and stats :) Thanks for all of your love and support! 

Claire (A)
4 lbs 7 oz
17.5 inches
9:25am

Cameron (B)
5 lbs 1 oz
18 inches
9:30am






36 weeks!!!!!!!!!!!!! - Headed to the hospital!

We CANNOT believe that TOMORROW (well today since it's so late) is 'Baby Day'!!! We're heading to the hospital now! This pregnancy has flown by! Especially grateful that it didn't drag because the last 3 months of it was strict bed rest, and I also had to take it easy from week 8 to 15 because of Claire's placenta previa. Though it went by fast, we were still able to enjoy the experience and the fact that we will finally have babies running around our home soon! It will be quite the change going from waddling around with a big ol belly full of wiggly babies to a crib full of two sweet and very special little people. I wasn't 100% sure I would make it to Friday, but here we are! My cervix held up to full term, yippee!! A total miracle! While we are nervous for the actual birth of the babies (what first time parents aren't?!), we are still so excited to finally meet them! Will they have hair? Will they be bald? Will they look alike or completely different? What will their little personalities be? How much will they weigh? So many fun things to think about! We will know SOON!! I hope, ha ha. Hoping for a short and smooth labor and delivery... 

This week I had my last NSTs at the hospital on Monday, and my last appointments with Dr. O and the high risk office Thursday! Yay for no more appointments...and for already hitting our insurance deductible, lol! NSTs went great, as I said before. Babies didn't even have to be buzzed once :) Dr. O said that I'm dilated just past 3cm and am 70% effaced. He asked at my appointment if this all seems so surreal, and I said back a big yes! We have been waiting for this for 9 lonnng years. He said ok good cause there are no returns and I can't put them back in :) I will be started on the Pitocin when we arrive, receive an epidural around 3-4am, he will break Claire's water around 5, and then we will see how long it takes from there! We will post pics and stats soon as we are able to.

The babies did great on their last BPP also, though it took awhile cause Claire didn't really feel like practice breathing for us, ha ha. Think she was sleepy. They got re-measured Thursday as well but their positioning still made it hard to get good measuments. They estimate Claire is between 4lbs 7 oz and 4 lbs 15 oz. Cameron is around 5 lbs 5oz to 5 lbs 13 oz. We will see how accurate that is!! 

This week the babies are considered full term. And thank goodness cause I'm starting to get really big, and my blood pressure has slowly started to climb because of the Preeclampsia. And that's with the meds. My hands, face, feet and legs have become quite swollen. Makes your skin feel tight and burny :( My app says the babies should each be around 5.5 lbs - 6 lbs and up to 22 inches long. We will see! I don't personally think they'll be that long. But who knows. All I know is that my belly is heavy!! The babies have been completely developed for several weeks. They've just been packing on fat deposits and working on brain development. They have all five senses and can feel pain. Have been able to for awhile now. Hang in there babies, see you soon!!!

Last belly pictures!
 
Last pic as family of 3! Yes, Slinky counts...he has been such a blessing and comfort to us during our 9 years of infertility!
Lovvve these two! Thanks for all of your help!!!!!!!!






Tuesday, May 10, 2016

Babies belly then and now!

This is a comparison of my belly two days before I was admitted to the hospital for pre-term labor at 24 weeks...and me now at 35.5 weeks, the week they'll be arriving full term. I think it's safe to say that the babies have grown just a little bit in these past almost 12 weeks, lol! ;) Soooo grateful!!! I thought my belly was big at 24 weeks, but it definitely WAS NOT! Scary.

I'm enjoying their last crazy jabs, hiccups and kicks. It's going to be so weird to have an empty belly because it has been so active with two babies in there! Only a few more days to go, so exciting! We're going in at 12:30am Friday morning to be induced. Pray that Blake doesn't pass out ha ha, he's very queasy! Hates blood, needles, etc. 

Babies did awesome on their last NST appointment yesterday at the hospital, didn't even have to be buzzed once :) So glad we don't have anymore of those. Will update one last time before they arrive! See you back here on Thursday after my last appointments with Dr. O and the high risk office :)
 After the NSTs we ate a yummy lunch, and we also got to use this parking spot yesterday for the first time :) Woo! Mom bought the babies some preemie diapers since we only had one pack, a bottle drying rack, a cute tub toy holder, and I got the babies some binkies :)

Sunday, May 8, 2016

My first 'HAPPY' Mother's Day! - Don't give up!!

The last 8 Mother's Days have, well...sucked. I avoided church purposely this day almost every year. But, I still enjoyed celebrating the holiday because of my amazing Mom and my sweet gmas, so it wasn't totally awful. I tried so hard to focus more on how grateful I was for the wonderful women in my life, and that helped a lot. But, I couldn't totally ignore the fact that everyone was having kids but us. I was the loner non-mommy. And some years I did sit around feeling sorry for myself. And that's ok too. Sometimes you just need to cry in the shower or yell into a pillow (or both!) in order to pick yourself back up and try again. The road of infertility is such an emotional rollercoaster. A tragedy. A loss of dreams, most days.

Last year especially sucked because Mother's Day came only two short months after I miscarried angel baby Cannon. I purposely didn't go to sacrament that Sunday because I didn't think I could keep it together through all the "I'm so grateful to be a Mom" talks. So I only caught the tail end of the meeting and then headed to my primary class. But I wasn't able to fully avoid everyone obviously, ha ha. My sweet friends still told me Happy Mother's Day with tears in their eyes. And I appreciated it, much to my surprise! Not only because it had to have been so hard for them to approach me and say that, but it also was somehow comforting at the same time. It reminded me that Blake and I have Cannon in heaven waiting for us, along with the sweet spirits of our children to be!

I would have never imagined then, when my heart was still freshly broken to pieces (and lit on fire!), that by the next mother's day that I would have a belly full of babies! And that they would be due in less than a week! It's amazing what can happen if we don't give up on our dreams. I have only ever wanted to be a Mommy. So very grateful to my Heavenly Father for watching over me and the twins throughout this pregnancy! This lifelong dream of mine is finally becoming a reality. It's just amazing that we've made it this far from our scare at 24 weeks. It was sooo worth the 12 weeks of bed rest, pain, hospital stays, and tears!

Though I'm not holding Cameron and Claire just yet, I think I still count as a "Mommy" :) I hope all of you out there struggling with infertility can spend this holiday not thinking of the children that you don't have or lost...but can focus on your own mothers, aunts, friends, grandmothers, or whatever awesome ladies you have the pleasure of knowing. I like to think that we all have at least one amazing mother figure or female support system in our life. For now, find comfort and happiness in celebrating them! But don't lose hope for the little ones who will eventually come...look what Blake and I would be missing out on if we would have called it quits in 2014! I can't wait meet these beautiful babies, and to hug Cannon in heaven some day!

Happy Mother's Day to all of the moms and motherly figures out there, hope your day is wonderous! I am so grateful for my Mumsy, all of her help (recently and always!), her great and loving example to me, and for her generosity! She hasn't complained once in the whole 11 weeks she's been here helping out!


Friday, May 6, 2016

35 weeks!!!!!!!!!!! - Follow up, breakfast sausage & birth plan!

I cannot believe that we are exactly one week away from meeting our precious little piglets!!! 35 weeks, WOOOOOOO!! I'm getting more excited now than terrified, but I'm sure the night before they start me I will be singing a different tune, lol! Had my weekly BPPs with the high risk office yesterday. Both babies are champion practice breathers, look very healthy and are still quite wiggly. Such great news. It was fun to see their little feet kicking away on the screen yesterday. It cracks us up that their legs are all in one spot, my left side by ribs. Blake calls it the "foot pool". Ha ha. It's always pretty active there. I honestly don't know how they have room to wiggle ha ha, but they definitely manage. Has to be so smooshed in there :( They're both still head down. Claire is still stacked on top of her brother. You can tell on the ultrasound cause her chubby little belly is pushed in somewhat from her partially laying on his little head. My Gpa and his twin sister were so squished that he came out with a caved in rib cage. They were 7 and 8 lbs though, that is gigantic for twins. Hopefully our babies aren't that squished! They did let you go a lot longer back in the day though, I'm sure my great gma went past 36 weeks for sure. But, the babies fluid is still great, and the blood flow in their cords and placentas are still flowing properly. Tech said everything looks great. Only one more BPP appointment to go!!

Also had my weekly appointment with Dr. O yesterday. He did the strep test, checked my cervix and we went over my birthing options. Strep test was a cinch, not what I thought it was. Just a few quick swipes with a big qtip. My cervix still hasn't changed from 3cm but he said it's nice and soft, so we are on our way. We have decided to for sure do a vaginal birth with an epidural. This is the safest route for me and the babies, just incase we need to convert to a csection for one or both babies at some point. This way the epidural will already have been administered and working should a csection need to happen. Plus, I'm not about ready to be one of the super determined mothers who insists on no pain killers. There are TWO babies to push out afterall, ha ha! Yikes!! Plus, Dr. O said if Cameron flips after Claire comes out he will need to reach in and pull him out. My face was probably priceless and one of utter terror when he said the following... "If he flips, I'm gonna have to reach in and pull him out. And to be honest it isn't just going to be my hand, we're talking my arm...you DON'T want to feel that, so I'm glad you're choosing to have an epidural!" So...thank the dear Lord for epidurals, lol. Anyways, on a less terrifying note, Blake and I will head to the hospital in the wee hours of the morning next Friday. They will start me on a low dose of Pitocin, Dr. O will come break Claire's water awhile later and insert a catheter with a sensor on it that tells us how strong my contractions are. They will then administer the epidural and hopefully the babies both have a safe arrival! Dr. O said he was so proud of me for being so good on bed rest. I saw him as I came out of the bathroom before he came in the exam room and he said, "You're still pregnant!!!" I threw my arms up and said, "Yes I am! Woo hoo, one more week!!!" He and the nurses laughed, ha ha. I'm just waiting for Emma (whom I love!), Dr. O's medical assistant, to call with my exact hospital arrival time. It's going to be interesting going in at that hour because we are usually sleeping, ha ha. Hopefully I can nap Thursday and get some rest so I can get these two babies out! Very exciting and so very weird at the same time. I told Blake and my mom as we left yesterday that I feel like I'm the twilight zone, ha ha. It's almost baby time!! Just one more visit next Thursday morning with Dr. O and one more NST appointment. Sooo close!!! And who knows, maybe the munchkins will come sooner. Ya never know. When Dr. O heard that my contractions were 1.5 - 2 minutes apart at the hospital on Monday, he said the babies just may get here before next Friday. I'm thinking probably not since I'm only feeling a very small amount of the contractions I'm having. We shall see! Dr. O said that Cindy, my favorite nurse from the hospital, asked him the other day if I have a scheduled induction date yet because she wants to be sure she's working that day so she can see me and the babies, he he. I love amazing nurses!! Hopefully we see her. She's the one who mailed me the Preeclampsia and preterm labor info packets and cds. Soo sweet of her. 

I'm feeling alright considering my big ol belly and how hard bedrest is on your body! I've definitely started to puff up this last week, my legs are huge and my face is definitely more puffy. All a part of pregnancy! I can't fit in my maternity pants and lots of my shirts anymore, ha ha. Belly is too big now and my legs are too puffy for my pants. I'm super lucky to have only gotten really puffy my last week of pregnancy! Most poor women are super puffy for at least a month. I have started to feel super tired and nauseated lately. Again, just end of pregnancy symptoms. I have though started craving breakfast sausage, orange juice and peanut butter on toast like you wouldn't believe!! I could eat nothing but that for the rest of the week. One day I drank an entire carton of orange juice in like 1.5 hrs, ha ha. Babies love it and are super wiggly when I drink it. That and ginger ale make them do dances :) Early and mid way during the pregnancy I ate lottts of things with spaghetti sauce in it, apple juice, bananas, spinach salads, jazz apples, squash, baked potatoes, tomatoes, apples with peanut butter, stax chips, turkey sandwiches...and now I love breakfast sausage links, orange juice, pot pies, baked potatoes, toast with peanut butter, Immaculate brand cookies, ginger ale, fish sticks, tuna and other sandwiches. I'm definitely craving more protein, but that's good for the babies cause they need to pack on the chub!

Here are some recent pictures...

Mine and mom's fortune cookies from Pei Wei, ha ha! So true! She will be doing my shower after I'm recovered and I will be nurturing TWO babies!

What my face looked like about 1.5 months ago versus now :(

At the hospital for NSTs 

My sister said my tightly pulled belly button looks like a little mouth, so I added some sunglasses, lol ;)

Daddy putting together Clairebear's owl bouncer while I relax in my recliner :)