You still in there? - hang on little babies!

YOU STILL IN THERE?

I'm not going to pretend that everyday of this treatment process is perfect and exciting, this is real life after all, ha ha. It's ok to be scared though. That's what Heavenly Father is there for, to comfort us in times of great need. We just have to trust in him as much as we can and have faith in HIS plan for us. I have been feeling super sick from my shots and new pills this last week :'( And also kinda down about things the last couple of days. Not sure why. Probably just fearing that the embryos have made their escape, ha ha, but trying really hard to stay positive. Been praying extra to be at peace. I love the power of prayer! I think it's just getting harder because we will find out that it worked or that it didn't. It's not fun having no control over anything. And I miss Blake super bad!!! I want to hug him so bad right now! We knew this would be somewhat of a rollercoaster ride though.

But all I have to do to cheer myself up is talk to my hubby and read my very first blog posts about our story and I am reminded of how just how extremely lucky we are! No waiting list, received a lot of healthy embryos from our donor couple, and the fact that this all started because of a dream...is just a MIRACLE! But it's just so easy to let tiny little thoughts of doubt creep into your mind. We are human. It's just extra challenging when you have ached for something so badly for so many years. I found a couple of scriptures that brought my mind some peace: John 14:27 "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." Proverbs 3: 5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." Feeling better today! :)

Before we left on transfer day, my doctor said to me "think sticky thoughts because the embryos are very sticky, so don't worry about them just falling out!" So glad she said that, it has helped us a ton, ha ha. Please keep us in your prayers!

HANG ON LITTLE BABIES!!!

Fun facts about embryos and transfers! - such amazing little things!

At what stage are embryos frozen?
Embryos may be frozen at any stage of development between 1 and 6 days.

How long does it take for embryos to thaw?
Embryos thaw to room temperature within less than a minute or two after being removed from cryostorage, but the entire thaw process takes about 40 minutes before the embryo is ready for transfer or further incubation.

How does the thawing process work?
The embryos are removed from their canister and brought to room temperature.  In a reversal of the preparation process for freezing, the cryoprotectant is gradually removed and replaced with water by incubating the embryos in increasingly dilute solutions, each containing more water and less cryoprotectant. Again, the embryo may burst when water rushes into the cells, so this process is carefully controlled. Then the embryo is brought to body temperature and transferred or is placed into culture medium in an incubator until transfer.  Embryos are normally reevaluated before transfer.

How long can embryos be frozen and still be viable?
Theoretically, embryos may be frozen indefinitely, as no biological activity takes place during cryopreservation.  In practice, it is unknown how long they can remain viable.  The first frozen embryo transfers resulting in live birth took place in the mid-eighties.  Since then, embryos frozen as long as 12 years have resulted in successful pregnancy.  Freezing and thawing protocols continue to improve, making it possible that embryos frozen more recently may have better outcomes.

More pictures from our transfer trip! - Family and old friends ♥

Was SO FUN to get to see a few of our friends and family on our trip! We missed out on seeing lots of others because I'm not allowed to be around anyone even remotely sick. But it was still fun! Thanks for the yummy dinners Delanie and Todd, and thanks for meeting us at Dairy Queen Kim and Danny!

Was quite cold while we were there too, I froze mom out because these hormones make me so dang hot! :( My face is constantly beet red, especially right after a shot. It was 30 something degrees outside and I had the air conditioning on in the car on the way back, lol. Mom was a trooper though and fibbed that she wasn't totally freezing, even though she was ♥

Our room was nice and pretty quiet. Never had a cleaner hotel room, thank you La Quinta! Again, I loved the view from our window!

Bed rest! - enjoying some couch potato time with my Momma!

Today has been good! Don't feel any different, just enjoying my down time :) Mom makes/gets my food, the hotel makes my bed and cleans, I can be in my comfy jammies 24/7, and I don't have to do my hair or make up...I could get used to this! Now if my sides would just quit hurting so bad from these shots so I could actually sleep, lol! More than happy to torture myself though, stay in there babies! This area is just beautiful though, we have an awesome view of the big snowy mountains from our room.

THE BIG DAY! - the buns are in the oven!

THE BIG DAY!!!

The doctor transferred 2 of our little snowflakes this afternoon ♥ Here are some fun pictures from today! What a REALLY neat experience. It felt very different than I imagined. Mom even got to be in the room with me! We got to laugh and cry together. Not many parents get to watch their grandbabies being dropped into their daughter's uterus, lol! ;) We never thought in a million years that I would ever have 2 little embryos inside of me! Pregnancy just was just something that Blake and I had dreamed about years ago and were going to be robbed of, as unfair as it was. I can't describe to you in words how I feel today, tears of joy overcame me this morning before I even got out of bed. So grateful to our heavenly father and to our selfless donor couple for giving us this opportunity. In our opinion, we were finally made parents today! Even if they don't implant, I had 2 precious little souls in me, if only for a short while. But the doctors have high hopes and everything went really really well! It doesn't make sense, but I felt no stress yesterday as we travelled and last night as we went to bed. I thought I would be a total mess! And only felt gratitude and excitement today. I know it's from all of your prayers and good vibes :) We literally can feel them lifting our spirits.

The whole procedure only took about 30 minutes! And the embryos were thawed just this morning, which we found very interesting. Mom and I were able to meet with the staff and go over their quality before the transfer. They both thawed well and are the same quality as when they were frozen, what a relief!! There is sometimes a 5 to 15% chance that they may not thaw as well, and may not even be usable for the transfer. Huge relief that we didn't lose any of our precious snowflakes today!

Below are the actual embryos that were transferred, thought it was so neat to get pictures!! I don't know how anyone can say they aren't "babies" yet, we are already in love. What precious little miracles! Not many can say they have pictures of their kids at this age, he he! :) They're only a few cells old. We will let you know the pregnancy test results as soon as we are able, will be at least a couple of weeks though. For now, it is at least 2 days of bed rest. I plan on more, and possibly some hanging upside down, ha ha! ;)

A BIG THANKS to my mom for coming to this important appointment with me! We've had so much fun! I don't care what anyone says, I HAVE THE BEST PARENTS! They have been so supportive these past 8 years with absolutely everything, and have also assisted us financially to help make this opportunity possible ♥ While it is cheaper than IVF, it still isn't cheap by any means. Hopefully we can finally give them some dang grandkids, lol.

Thanks for all of your support, prayers, and sweet comments throughout this process! Please pray that we will be able to stay sane until the pregnancy test, ha ha!!! Talk about nerve racking...stay in there little babies! Hopefully we will join the baby wall soon at the doctor's office, lots of twins and triplets on there! :)

Off we go, only 1 day left! - miserable and loving it!

I can't believe it is finally time to head out for the transfer! Only 1 day left! This whole thing has seemed like a booked vacation that we would eventually get to go on, but it has totally snuck up on us! We're beyond excited, and also quite nervous, ha ha. Your fasting and prayers took away so much of our stress and fear though, thank you again for all of your support! It means more to us than words could ever say.

I'm excited to be heading out today with mom! And I am also pretty dang miserable, but that's good because we know my meds are still working! I've been feeling pretty blah...puffy tummy, an extremely sore and bruised behind from dozens of shots, heartburn, headaches, crazy sleep schedule, hot flashes, red cheeks, nausea, abdominal pain, etc. But it is good practice right?! :) I will soon feel this way for 9 more months we hope! I have never been so happy to be miserable! Really thinking this is going to work :) I have been feeling more emotional though, and really really missing my husband, but I'm surrounded by loving family. So thankful! Thank you Grandma for being my trusty shot giver these past few weeks. She really hates it, but I'm glad she still jabbs me daily anyways :) And thanks to Grandpa for saying everyday "oh yeah, its going to work!"

We will have some fun pictures to post tomorrow from the transfer, so stay tuned!

Passing the time til transfer day! - last couple of weeks

Passing the time until the big day! FOUR days left!

Nephews, lunch dates after appts, homemade rice pudding, frozen yogurt, cousins, snow, jeep rides, new beanie, shopping, crafting, meeting relatives, visiting grandparents, Yahtzee, card games, visit to the honeycomb rocks & reservoir, Scrabble, toe painting, temple trip, business trip to east Texas for Blake, homemade valentines, and of course lots of relaxing at grannies and gramps!

Thank you all! - feeling so blessed

FROM THE BOTTOM OF OUR HEARTS, THANK YOU!!!

Thank you to all who fasted and prayed with us today! We have been so at peace today, and overwhelmed by the spirit. We are so grateful to have such wonderful family members and friends! We hope that this coming Friday will go smoothly. We know that whatever is supposed to happen will happen. The Lord hears our prayers, though at times it may not always seem that way. We had to wait 8 long years for this wonderful treatment opportunity. The Lord does things in his time, not ours. It is left up to us to keep our faith during trials, we are so very happy that we didn't give up on our dreams!

I was able to go do some sealings with my grandparents yesterday at the St. George temple, it was so beautiful. I instantly felt the fears and stresses of this treatment melt away as soon as we walked through the front doors of the temple. My hormone injections have made this last week not so fun for me (finally feeling really yucky and sore), and we still randomly think oh my gosh what if this doesn't work?! So it was wonderful to feel that special sense of peace that you only get at the temple, just wish Blake could be here. Faith batteries are recharged though! 

Only FIVE more days until transfer day!!!

Last week of bloodwork & ultrasounds! - Got the green light!

Got my bloodwork done Monday and again today. My Estrogen level went from 598 to 3,379 on Monday! Still waiting to hear today's numbers. I think it's safe to say that my shots and pills are doing their jobs :) No more pills, yay! Had my last lining check this afternoon and it is right where we prayed it would be! What a huge relief. It needed to be at 8mm or more or they could not transfer the embryos yet. It went from 6.5mm last week to 10.3 today! So we got the green light from the doctor, the embryo transfer is happening on Friday the 23rd! So exciting!!! Celebrated with Grandma at Yogurtland :)

My better half! what he's been up to

It has been tough being apart for 2.5 weeks! We will be apart for a total of almost 6 by the time I return home. We're super bummed that he can't be in Utah with me for any of the treatment, but we're so grateful he has a job. Blake is on a 2 week business trip in east Texas right now. Below are some pictures of his trip so far, he's quite enjoying his rental truck, ha ha. He was even able to visit with some of his cousins in Dallas this weekend. He said it's very green there, and has been enjoying some yummy southern food like fried okra, brisket, fried catfish, and gumbo. I miss this handsome, sweet guy so much!