4 more days! - I wish & "is mommy ok?!"

You guys, this meme is totally what I want to do right now! 🤣 Only 4 more days until the pregnancy test though!!! I'm still experiencing the same morning sickness and other symptoms I have with past transfers, so we are hoping that's good news! This transfer is seriously one of the worst and longest waits, which is weird to me. I wish home pregnancy tests were as accurate as blood draws! Would save us money too, ha ha. 

My lower abdomen is still really tender along with my breasts. And I'm MUCH more bloated today. At least I'm sleeping good and feeling good when I wake up. But the twins are starting to wonder "why does mommy's tummy and chest hurt?!" Cameron said to me the other day, "your tummy is STILLLL hurts mommy??!" And Claire keeps asking me if "the doctor say you tummy is ok, yes or no mommy?! Yes or no?" Claire was concerned I was in the hospital while away for the transfer, but Grandma assured her that everything was fine. When we video chatted I was laying in the hotel bed with a white pillow and sheets, so she must have thought it was a hospital bed. The kids knew I had been to the doctor recently for my surgery also, but we didn't tell them what it was for. So I'm sure that's what started all this. We are crossing our fingers and toes, and sending up lots of prayers that we can tell them exciting news soon! 

They will seriously be THE cutest big brother and sister ever! I hope this treatment is successful just for that reason alone, ha ha. Claire thinks anyone her age or younger is a baby and majorly fusses over them. One time she pitched a huge fit in Costco (never happens!) because she insisted we go find and see these adorable 3 month old boy/girl twins again. Luckily the dad was a great sport and let us bug them again. It was fun chatting about how fun twins are, and how often you get stopped and asked all kinds of questions. Sometimes weird ones, ha ha. You could just see in Cam and Claire's eyes that their hearts were melting, they absolutely loved those little babies. I wanted to take them home too, ha ha. So chubby with beautiful dark skin and eyes ❤

An update - Morning sickness, shots, and a sweet friend!

Well, we are really hopeful that this embryo transfer worked! I started throwing up a couple of days ago 🥳 I am a freak and get sick super early on. I waited to post about it til I had more running to the bathroom episodes, ha ha. I'm not as sick as I was with the twins, but I am definitely experiencing past symptoms. Maybe I'll be like my mom and only be really sick with my first baby(ies) (me, ha ha)? Or maybe just being healthier will make pregnancy easier on me? Or are all of these things just happening because of the meds? I also am extremely car sick, which also happened with the twins. I wasn't able to drive myself for months. My mom or Blake had to drive me everywhere and I traveled with gallon sized ziplock bags for when I got sick in the car. Had to just lay back in the seat and close my eyes. I also have very tender breasts, bloating, and a dull ache in my uterus. The hormones can cause some of these symptoms but we're hoping everything is a good sign! The achy pain is usually a sign of implantation. Praying that's it! It would just be too crazy to me if this doesn't work out...these last 2 little snowflakes were miraculously saved at our last transfer by the awesome Embryologist, they both thawed beautifully and were almost half hatched, and both transferred well. I will seriously be like WHAT ON EARTH if we don't get a positive test next Monday!! The wait is extra killing me this time, gahhh! Waiting and waiting and waiting 😬😳

In the past at this point after the transfers, I was majorly craving spaghetti sauce. Like, I wanted to drink it through a straw kind of craving! This time it doesn't sound that great though. I instead am craving spicy, fatty, and salty things. I have been eating a lot of plain potato and veggie chips, guacamole, and olives. Also loving apples and baked potatoes. Some meats sound gross and sadly almost all vegetables. I love vegetables and have been eating a tonnn of them since starting Bright Line Eating, but man I just can't hack em very well right now. 

Today Blake mentioned the word "shot" and Claire heard him. She thought he said that Cameron needed a shot. She was seriously concerned that he was really sick and needed a shot for some reason. Poor girl. But after I explained to her that it was for me and that it had good medicine in it to help my tummy she decided it was alright, ha ha. Still didn't let her see though, she was distracted by cartoons. I have purposely not let them see me get any shots because I knew it would upset at least one of them. Also, if the treatment is successful, we don't plan on telling the twins that a baby is on the way until after everything still looks good at my 9 week ultrasound. Losing our angel baby Cannon suddenly at just around 9 weeks has made us hesitant. We VERY MUCH hope we have some exciting news for Cam and Claire soon! So far my sides aren't doing too bad. Still itchy, tender, and red though 😬 

Also, everyone please say a prayer for my beautiful and sweet friend Mariah & her husband Jeremy!! Their embryo transfer today went well, woot! They have been through a lotttt. I am praying sooo hard that we both have some good news next week! She's my infertility hero. It has been so fun and a great comfort to chat with her over the recent years. And really fun to be doing treatments so close together this time. She is my soul sister and we just get each other and all of this crazy that is the life of infertility. Can't wait to meet up and let the kiddos play together! Many thanks to KayDell for introducing us 🥳👍❤

Bahaha! Funny hormone meme

So, I have to say that this time around has been so much easier on me! We tried a different progesterone in oil injection and are doing estrogen pills daily instead of estrogen shots twice weekly. Those things, along with being almost 70 lbs lighter and healthier, has been a total game changer even though I'm 6 yrs older. No red, hot, firey face, and hardly any nausea. I didn't sleep well the last 2 times, had very sore and angry sides from shots, bad daily headaches, hot flashes, and nothing ever sounded good to eat. I feel so much better this time around, but it doesn't mean that I'm not clear full of hormones 🤣

What happens to embryos after the transfer??

Ever wonder what happens to the embryos between transfer day and the pregnancy test? I thought this was such cool info! These same steps apply to natural pregnancies as well, after the embryo is fertilized and comes out of the fallopian tube into the uterus 😁

Hang in there babies, we hope you are both attaching!!!

Step-By-Step

Here's what happens to the Day 5 embryos (blastocysts) after their transfer is complete.

• Day 1 – After the embryos are transferred, the cells keep dividing. The blastocyst begins to emerge from its shell and this process is called hatching.
• Day 2 – The second day is crucial because this is the time when the embryo begins to attach itself to the uterine lining. The blastocyst continues to grow.
• Day 3 – On this day, the blastocyst invades into the uterine lining and implantation begins. The woman may have light bleeding and spotting on this day
• Day 4 – On the fourth day, the blastocyst continues to dig deeper into the uterus Light bleeding and spotting may continue on this day as the embryo invades the endometrial blood vessels to nourish itself through the maternal blood supply. However, the absence of any bleeding, cramping, and spotting does not mean that implantation has not occurred so don't let your mind play games with you.
• Day 5 – On the fifth day, implantation is considered complete. The embryo is developing vigorously.
• Day 6 – The growing embryo triggers the release of human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG) into the bloodstream. This is a hormone that is produced by the syncytiotrophoblast, the specialized cells which will form the placenta later on
• Day 7 – The fetal development is in full swing and the embryo continues to develop quickly. As the placenta begins to take shape, it continues to release more hCG into the bloodstream
• Day 8 – More hCG is released into the blood, as fetal development continues and the placenta begins to function.
• Day 9 – By this time, the levels of the hormone hCG, are high enough in the bloodstream to be detected. You may take a home pregnancy test today. If the test is negative, it could still be a false negative. Wait for another two days and take the test again. The blood test for beta HCG is much more reliable and is usually done about 10 -12 days after blastocyst transfer.

Post transfer - Bed rest & Praying for morning sickness!

Well guys, it is day 1 of 2 of bed rest following the transfer (fertility center calls em "Princess Days", ha ha). Not supposed to clean, exercise, etc. All I have to say...is I don't know how on earth I did 3 MONTHS of strict home and hospital bed rest when pregnant with the twins!??!😟😳😮 Granted this hotel bed is squishier than my bed at home...my neck, back, knees, and more are quite sore from laying here for a little less than only 24 hrs, ha ha. I really wish though that I could just hang myself upside down for like a whole week! Stay in there sweet babies!! We are so glad you BOTH thawed well 😭❤🥳 We know now how crazy awesome and special having twins is, so I am extra hoping they both stay put. Hang on!!

So, I checked my previous blog posts...I started with morning sickness after only 2 days after the transfer with the twins, and 3 days with angel baby Cannon. The fertility center couldn't believe that I could possibly be sick so early on, but I totally was! You can tell the difference between a stomach flu and morning sickness. So, I'm curious if I will do that again this time if it is successful?! Or if I won't because I am so much healthier, detoxed, and weigh so much less compared to the past transfers? Toxins in the body have been shown to contribute to the presence and severity of morning sickness. And fat cells are notorious for storing toxins. It would be a comfort to be sick so soon again because I would know the treatment worked ha ha, but at the same time it would be awesome to not be so sick this time around. I was extremely sick from right after the transfer until about 5.5 months with the twins. 

We have been watching lots of History Channel. Blake just got back from getting a grocery pick up order from a local Walmart. Soo nice, especially with all this covid stuff going on! Our room is cute,  very clean, and has a mini kitchen in it. Which is great for us because we can't eat out due to multiple food allergies. Take out is terrible for you anyways. Gotta keep my health on track!

TRANSFER SUCCESS! - 2 blastocysts, lucky socks & a beautiful temple

The embryo transfer was a total success!!! I was so shocked and emotional. Tried to not blubber like a baby, lol. Such a wonderful surprise that they BOTH thawed well and reached the blastocyst stage (when the embryos start hatching out of their shells - making them more ready to attach!). I was seriously not sure how things were going to go today. I was more nervous than normal, it is our LAST chance after all. We have never had a blastocyst before, let alone two. So grateful for this huge surprise blessing! We tried to meet Ammon, the embryologist who saved these two embryos at our last transfer, but he was working. We are so thankful to him for being prompted to give these two little babes a chance. We wouldn't be here today if it weren't for him ❤ 

The fertility center had some "lucky socks" waiting for me today! So, between those, my awesome shirt lol, and the good news that the embryos thawed and transferred well...we're hoping that means we'll have a positive pregnancy test on Nov 2nd! I absolutely love Dr. C. She is so sweet, fun, and encouraging. She walked us through the whole transfer process again and showed us everything on the screen as it was happening. We really, really appreciate her and all the fertility center staff ❤ I thought their sperm and egg pumpkin was hilarious! We also appreciated that she gave us the ok to remove our masks for the procedure. I almost passed out in the bathroom at Bass Pro once, my body definitely doesn't like the lack of oxygen that masks cause. And they give Blake horrible migraines. 

We decided to stop by the Mt. Timpanogos temple before going to the fertility center for the transfer. It is such a beautiful building! We walked around and took some pictures of the beautiful grounds. I felt such peace and comfort there. It was windy and chilly ha ha, but so pretty. Before leaving we said a prayer together that we would be comforted and at peace no matter the outcome of today.

We are praying and hoping like crazy that these babies stay put!!! Please keep us in your prayers. We are relaxing at the hotel for a couple of days and then will head back to our beautiful babies, who we miss terribly already 😭

If the pictures blurry on your phone, just click on them 😀

Have a wonderful weekend everyone!!

Embryo Transfer is tomorrow! - We are almost all done, Missing Grandma, 36th bday & Thank you's

We made it to town! The embryo transfer is tomorrow early afternoon. Hoping and praying (and hoping and praying some more!) that they both thaw well 🤞🤞🤞 This is it...our last chance, our last 2 embryos. So grateful for the two beautiful, sweet, and amazing little people that we have, and for our angel baby, Cannon!

We can't believe that our almost 14 yrs of trying for a family is coming to an end. The entire first 9 years of our marriage was about nothing but obsessing over the struggles of infertility, a pregnancy loss, etc. Whether this treatment is successful or not, it will be sooo nice to just be DONE! What ever will we do?! Jk. We don't feel like traditional adoption is in our future, or any other treatments, so...this is it! We will either welcome another little one and be absolutely thrilled...or not, and continue working on our health and weight & continue enjoying the twins! 

This is the first treatment that my mom has not been able to come with us. I hope that isn't bad juju, ha ha! But we are thinking of her and wishing she was here, but are so grateful to her for watching Cam and Claire for us. We'll take pics for you mom! ❤ So glad that Blake was able to take work off to be here with me. He said again the other day, "I at least need to be in the same room for it to work!" 🤣 

Today is my 36th birthday 😳 How'd that happen?! 🤣 If things would have gone according to our own plan...we would have not struggled with infertility and would have had 3 or 4 kids and been done by age 30, ha ha. But, here we are at 36 and trying and praying for one more. It took me yearrrs to realize that God's plan is best, is for a good reason, and is to help shape us. I definitely don't think that I would have been as patient or as good of a mother without the trial of infertility. It has helped us appreciate our sweet little babies all the more. And, we would have never found our sweet little snowflakes! We wouldn't change a single thing. Never in a million years would I have thought I'd ever say that!! But I 100% feel and believe that now. My mom took the kids shopping and had a blast, ha ha. They picked me out some lovely golden apples, tiger chip clips, a flower head band, flowers, fuzzy socks, a chicky cloth that cleans your phone screen (Cam has a fierce love for anything baby chicks ha ha), a pumpkin decoration, and a pink cooling eye mask (Claire absolutely loves pink!) 🤣❤ Love these tiny people!!

I would like to say THANK YOU to everyone!! Everyone who has been there for us, helped us, shot us a text saying you were thinking of us, and gave us hugs when we needed them! Thanks to all those who have given me shots during the treatments, to those who have listening to us vent, whine, and cry. Thank you to those who sent us gifts when we welcomed our beautiful rainbow twins and while I was on bed rest, and to those who have prayed so hard on our behalf. A special thanks to my parents and my Granny. We love and appreciate all of you!! This has been quite the journey, and we have seen God's hand in it ALL!

Stayed tuned tomorrow to see how transfer day went, and to see my funny "transfer apparel"! 🤣

Only 5 more days! - Bloodwork & Monster Needles

Had my last labs needed before the treatment drawn yesterday, woot! Only 5 more days til the embryo transfer 🥳😬 My Estradiol came back as 275 and my starting Progesterone was .1 something, both perfect. I really need to compare my levels from previous treatments because I'm curious. This is the first treatment EVER that I have not had to have any of my meds increased, so crazy! Normally I need the Estrogen shots along with some pills, and increased Progesterone. But this time the pills are doing just fine. I'm not sure if it is because I am healthier and 70 lbs lighter, so my body is reacting better to the meds. Or, if these pills are just the only way to go, ha ha. I definitely am still loving not having to do any Estrogen shots twice a week. I started the PIO (progesterone in oil) shots today. My baby sis volunteered to be the first person to jab me 🤣 Thanks Monica, you did a good job! So excited to see how things go, praying our embryos thaw well on Thursday 🤞❤

10 more days! - A lining check & Feeling human again

You guys, I am ALIVE!!! I am finally starting to feel a lot better, so glad! That cold was a nasty one, and so was my fall. I haven't been sick in almost a year, so bummed it had to come now. But, at least it will be gone before the treatment. I cannot believe that the transfer is in only 10 days...WHAT?! This transfer has just flown by. I was telling Tami today at my appt that this transfer has just flown by and it feels like I haven't had nearly as many appts this time around. And, I have been much less of a nervous wreck this time vs the others. Probably because I have 2 adorable little distractions this time around! I am so grateful for all of your thoughts and prayers. And so blessed to have this opportunity to try to grow our little family. I really hope things go our way and we can welcome a sweet baby this coming summer ❤

My lining check went awesome today! Normally at my lining checks I am usually not at or over the 8mm in thickness that they want to see. So, I have always had to take a couple of these Estrogen pills a day in addition to my shots to get my lining thicker. But, this time around I am taking 4 pills daily and have had zero shots so far. I haven't been emotional, nauseous, red faced, or anything like I normally am. My lining was at 13.7mm today! I was shocked. Yay for these pills, ha ha. I do have to start the progesterone shots on Saturday though 😩 Thought this meme was funny, sent it to my friend Mariah also (she's doing her transfer only 4 days after mine) 🤣🍫😋. Seriously though,  the needles are MASSIVE. Please send baby dust our way!

What a freaking week! - a nasty cold & a bad fall

What a freaking week! I recovered good from my Hysteroscopy, was sore for about 5 days but then was doing good. However, my poor little cousin who came to visit brought a nasty cold with her. She tested negative for covid, tonsillitis, and strep. It was just a nasty virus. Well, sadly my Granny got it. I waited a couple days before coming down to my parent's house to visit to make sure we weren't bringing it with us. But, of course I got sick late the night we arrived at my parents. This nasty bug comes on quick! I have been living in bed practically for 3 days while my mom has watched the kids for me so that I could rest. She took the twins to my sister's house the other day to play so that I could rest. I napped for hours, woke up, and went downstairs to find myself something to eat because I was starving. Made it to the restroom and down the stairs ok, but when I opened up the fridge to get some grapes I started feeling dizzy and short of breath. So, I sat down on the floor and waited until it passed. I got up, filled up my water, and just decided to go back up to bed and wait for my mom to get home to bring me something to eat. Last thing I remember is walking down the hallway. I woke up on the floor not knowing where I was and could tell that I had hit my head really hard. My knee, arm, and hip also hurt a lot from hitting the tile like a ton of bricks. I was home alone and had left my phone upstairs in the bedroom I was sleeping in. I laid there crying for a few minutes because of the pain, and then decided I had to get upstairs somehow because I couldn't lay there for 2 more hours until mom came home with the kids. I couldn't walk because my head was still spinning and my knee was killing me. So, I army crawled up the stairs to my bedroom and found my phone. I called my mom and she left the twins at my sister's and came right home. I was still crying when I called her so she thought something really bad had happened to my husband. Glad it wasn't that! I decided to not go to the emergency room or InstaCare because I didn't feel it was necessary. I didn't need to pay thousands of dollars in medical bills for them to tell me what I already knew...had bumps and bruises, passed out from low blood sugar and severe sinus/ear pressure, and didn't have covid. So, I decided to take the Zpack I had for the treatment (they have you take it right before the transfer to get rid of any possible bacteria overgrowth in the uterus or vagina). Since then I am starting to feel better, especially with the sinus infection. Thanks to my awesome brother in law Austin for coming and giving me a blessing the night I fell! And to my mom for all of her help!! She always comes to the rescue! If you could keep my sanity in your thoughts and prayers that'd be great ha ha, it has just been one thing after another! And now sadly Clairebear is sick 😭 Blake was supposed to come visit us today but we decided to have him stay home and not be exposed to this nasty head cold. I hope we all feel better soon and are back to our normal selves, cause I seriously just want to cry right now! And holy moly, the transfer is in only 18 days!! 😳