First day of treatment! - Groundhog day

Well, here we go again! Feels like I was doing all of this just last week, ha ha. Had my Baseline Ultrasound and first round of bloodwork done today. Much less to stress about this time when it comes to the process of everything. Last time I was so stressed about what was next, or what this or that was going to be like. So I hope that'll help me relax some this time around! I start my shots tomorrow evening. Eek! Not looking forward to it since my sides are just now 100% healed from last time. But, it has to happen to get us a sweet baby, so I will happily be a miserable pin cushion once again! My lining measured at 4mm today, which is perfect, and better than last time around. So I hope that's a sign of good things to come! Was so happy to see Johanna again today, my favorite nurse for sure!

After my appointments, my baby sister and I went and ate at Red Robin, did some shopping at Deseret Book and Charming Charlie's, and giggled most of the drive back home from St. George, ha ha. Gotta love sisters!! 

A name for our angel! - A very special post for us

I have been thinking a lot about our baby lately,  a lot more than normal. Probably because we are starting another treatment very soon, and it for some reason feels like we're trying to "replace" the baby. To those who have never lost a child, that may sound odd. But, to those who have, you probably know what I'm talking about and struggling with. Pushing forward after the loss of a child at any stage of pregnancy is very difficult. It not being given a name publicly somehow makes it seem like it wasn't totally real?? I don't know how to describe exactly what I'm trying to say or how I feel. But, it just bothers me to call the baby "it" when we talk about things. 

When I did the post "A ring, and an angel" shortly after the miscarriage, I almost posted what we wanted to name the baby as well, but we hesitated. I don't know if we were quite ready to share that yet, and we thought that some might think its weird because I was only 8-9 weeks along and we didn't know it's gender. But now, I have no idea why on earth we cared what others might think about OUR baby that WE lost. No one knows how we felt or feel. Losing our first baby after trying for over eight years is the hardest thing we've ever been through, and was unbelievably heart breaking. I personally feel that it was a baby boy, but of course we can't be sure because it had already deteriorated too much to tell when I finally miscarried. Sorry, I know that sounds awful, but it's reality.

Tonight I was talking about things with my sweet Aunt Kim. She was inspired to say everything that she said, and I love her for that. Thank you! The Lord often uses others to comfort us, speak to us, and to answer our prayers. It has really been bothering me lately that I can't comfortably say normal things to others like, "when I was pregnant with ______, I felt..." My aunt mentioned how the movie Heaven is Real made her think of us, and how she wondered if we had named the baby or not. In the movie, the little boy had a near death experience. He mentioned to his parents that a girl without a name comforted him while he was briefly in heaven. The parents had never mentioned to him that they had a miscarriage before having him, yet he was able to tell his parents that his "other sister" came to him in heaven and hugged him. She also told him that their parents didn't name her, and that she died in their mommy's tummy. He was able to describe to his mother what she looked like! That gave me the chills and brought me to tears. This movie is based on a true story! I haven't seen the whole movie, my sister only looked up that one scene for me, but it was very powerful. I will definitely be watching it soon...with a GIANT box of tissues.

So, I can't see any reason why our little one doesn’t deserve a name. Even if my gut is wrong and its not a boy, it has been impressed upon me that this is supposed to be the baby's name. We liked this name for either sex. I know that the precious babies we lose in this life are waiting for us in heaven and are not forgotten. We will get a chance to raise them, and they are watching over us. To those who have hesitated naming your lost babies, please don't! I hope this post will bring us some closure, comfort those who have been in our situation, and raise awareness that, "A person is a person, no matter how small!" We hope and pray that Cannon will send us a sweet brother or sister soon ♥ 

We love you, Cannon Page!

We miss you everyday, thank you for making us a Mommy and Daddy.

On the road again! - Yummy treats and fun stops

This weekend was awesome! Living closer to family and the treatment is definitely a plus, good bye two day drives! Since we only have one car at the moment, my mom and sister were kind enough to meet Blake half way. So sad to say goodbye to my hubby for 5-6 weeks again (especially since we just got settled in our new cute place), but excited to get things started with the treatment. At least he will be occupied with a business trip to Nevada, California, and Arizona this next week! By the way...you have not lived unless you've tried a Dole Whip! Oh. My. Gosh. No gluten or dairy, just pineapple perfection. Try one immediately. We also stopped to see Hoover Dam, I got to rub my pregnant sister’s super cute belly, and I finally got to meet my insanely cute nephew puppy, Walter. He and Slinky are getting along great. Utah in a couple of days, woo!

"Don't look backwards for very long...keep moving forward!" - Treatment is almost here

The last couple of weeks I have been second guessing whether or not to go ahead with the upcoming treatment. But, I know it’s just nerves and utter terror because of how hard the first time around was. And, it is a long time for Blake and I to be apart. We do live a lot closer now, so if his work schedule allows it, he may be able to visit. But, the stress of it all has really been nagging at me. This may sound silly, but I found comfort in a movie that I watched yesterday while my pizzas were baking, Meet the Robinsons. What a cute movie, I highly recommend it! For those of you that know me well, know that I am a movie freak. Especially when it comes to Disney/Pixar ones! This movie has always had a special place in my heart because he finally gets adopted in the end after many years. He gets discouraged throughout the movie and wants to give up, but he doesn’t. Besides the awesome message this movie offers, the main point of this post is the below quote by Walt Disney at the end of the movie. These words are also said throughout the movie. I found great comfort in his words. 

“Around here, however, we don’t look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward, opening up new doors and doing new things, because we’re curious…and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.” - Walt Disney

KEEP MOVING FORWARD and CURIOSITY LEADS US DOWN NEW PATHS are the parts that stuck out to me the most. We would have never adopted these precious embryos if I hadn't been curious about that dream I had repeatedly last summer! So cool! But, I've felt as if I've had a tiny angel and devil on my shoulders the last couple of weeks. The angel saying, “Please don’t give up, these embryos came to you for a reason. Your babies are waiting for you, you’re almost there. They’re beautiful and you will be such a happy family!” And, the little red guy with a pitch fork whispering in my ear, “Why bother, it’s just going to be another miscarriage anyways! Save yourselves all that heart wrenching pain and money, just re-donate the embryos. Then, you and Blake will always be able to do whatever you want, with no kids to worry about! Are you really sure you want all the stress and responsibility that comes with having kids?” Just "taking another break" has been tempting also. But I know me, and we would probably never resume treatments. We would just use it as an excuse to keep postponing because we were afraid. I'm sure many of you fellow infertile-ites know exactly what I'm talking about and how I feel...

So many people now a days sadly view having a family as something that "holds you back." But it's just not true, people are just becoming more and more selfish. The whole purpose of us being here on this earth is to have a family, and to learn and grow together. Fear, loss of hope, and negativity come from Satan. He doesn’t want us to be happy, or to become the person that Heavenly Father knows we can be. Hope, faith, happiness, and perseverance come from God. Much prayer, along with little things over the last few days, like this movie, has helped me get out of my funk. We can’t just sit around too afraid to pursue additional fertility treatments because “they’ll probably just fail anyways.” We don’t know that! Yes, I miscarried last time, but that's not extremely uncommon. Yes, it has been almost 9 years, and we've spent over $25,000 between IVF in 2008 and our embryo transfer in January. But, that doesn’t mean that we should lose our faith and quit trying! There are so many couples out there that have endured much more than Blake and I, and it would be a shame to call it quits now. At least we know I am able to get pregnant! Some aren't so lucky. Though Disney's words may not be specific to my exact situation, it's just a great overall attitude recommendation for life!

Like in the movie, I have faith that if there were such a thing as a time machine, that I would be able to look into our future and see beautiful babies. Everything happens when it’s supposed to, although it may be difficult. I used to get so mad when people would tell me that, but it is true. My heart goes out to all of you that are currently struggling with infertility or treatments, have lost a child, or are suffering in other ways. I'm happy to say that I'm feeling better about heading to Utah in just a few days! Thanks to everyone for all of your prayers on our behalf. Just remember, you’re not alone, and DON’T LOOK BACKWARDS FOR VERY LONG & KEEP MOVING FORWARD!

Never give in! - I love Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Happy Sunday everyone!

I just love this and wanted to share! This man always has the best and most uplifting things to say. I should print it and put it on our fridge. What a great reminder, especially when enduring fertility treatments and trials. It can be such a drain on your faith, marriage, and spirit.

Hang in there friends!

Utah in ten days, time is flying! - Fun photoshoot

Wow has time flown by, it's already almost September people!! I am so grateful for that though, still can't believe it has been 6 months since the miscarriage. I've had some bad days over the last couple weeks because I'm getting more and more terrified. But, there's nothin' like getting your hair, nails, and pictures done 'country style'  before you move to make you feel better, ha ha! It's the small things. We REALLY miss our beautiful little town, but we are looking forward to the new adventures we'll have in our new city. We are feeling more and more ready to tackle this treatment, I'm so ready for Utah! Woooo!

Thank you Katie Jo Photography for the amazing pictures!!

YEE HAW Y'ALL!

Change, rebuild, become better than you were! - Trials

This is hard to remember when our hearts are aching, breaking, or lost. But this is so true! I wouldn't have the faith, hope, and testimony in God and his Son, without the hurt and growth from my trials in life. Especially infertility. So grateful for my faith and church leaders, especially on bad days! 

No matter your trials, never lose hope! 

Losin' my marbles! - So cute though

Yes folks, you are seeing this correctly! After 8.5 years of trying for a baby, I'm finally starting to lose my marbles...lol. If this next treatment isn't a success, Slinky will be rollin in the stroller! ;)

As we were packing this weekend, I thought it'd be funny to plop him in there and snap a picture. Blake said, "you're finally losing your mind..." Made me laugh really hard. The picture turned out as cute as I thought it would though. He just needs a little green bow on his head, he he.

 Love our fur baby!
Come on September, give us a healthy baby!

Meds have arrived! - giant needles & fun facts

Hello GIANT needles, you literally are a pain in my rear!
I was REALLY hoping to have a baby from this last treatment, and not have to see you for a couple  more years, but here we are. I was more excited to get these today than I thought I would be though!

I really do have a love-hate relationship with these things. I love them because they mean treatment time! Which hopefully = a positive pregnancy test and a healthy baby! But, I absolutely hate them because they're so dang painful! Big, sore, hot, lumps that don't go away for like 4 months. No exaggeration there. Makes sitting, sleeping, walking, and really just existing, very unpleasant. And, I'm sure I will get horrible migraines, nausea, bloating, and insomnia from the meds again, but we are praying hard that our prayers will be answered and that it'll be worth it! So very grateful to have this opportunity and other snowflakes waiting for us. And, the pain is SOOO worth it when you hear those four magical words..."Congratulations, you are pregnant!"

Fun facts about the meds...

Estradiol Valerate (Estrogen): This shot works along with the estrogen naturally produced by the woman's body during her cycle, it just supercharges it is all. Estrogen shots help build up the uterus wall lining, a "fluffy" and thick lining is essential for the embryo(s) to implant. The estrogen also is needed by the embryo for nutrition after the implantation. Last treatment, my lining wasn't progressing as fast as it should with just the shots, so I had to do the pill version of the shot also. And both definitely did the trick! Embryos cannot be transferred into the uterus with a thickness less than 6 - 8mm. Last transfer, I went from 6 something to 10.8, which was great! The pills aren't pleasant, but I needed them.

Progesterone Oleate (Progesterone): Around the mid point of a woman's cycle, an egg bursts out of its follicle (follicles contain immature eggs until they're ready to be released) and travels down the fallopian tube to be fertilized. After ovulating, the woman's ruptured follicle releases progesterone to keep her from shedding her lining, giving the new embryo time to attach after its been fertilized. But, since we are doing a fertility treatment and putting the embryos straight into my uterus, skipping the whole ovulation and fertilization process, my body wouldn't know what to do without the progesterone injections. The embryo wouldn't have time to attach well before I started my cycle again. So...hooray for these painful shots, ha ha! We want to keep that baby in there, don't want another miscarriage.

The body is an amazing thing, and so are fertility treatments! Its a miracle anyone gets pregnant in our opinion, whether its naturally or with help, ha ha. So many things have to be just right, it truly is a miraculous thing! Once starting the treatment in early September, I will continue these shots again until I'm about 10 wks pregnant. Here's to hoping for another positive pregnancy test!

Faith and Infertility - a great Ensign article!

Below is a link to a wonderful LDS Ensign article about faith and infertility. Please share it, there are so many couples out there struggling with infertility. Some you know of, some you don't. You don’t need to be a fellow Mormon to read this, get comfort from it, or to share it ☺ So, read away blog friends, and thanks for following us!

https://www.lds.org/ensign/2011/04/faith-and-infertility?lang=eng

“I felt lost for a long time. I felt I had no purpose. That’s the ultimate goal, isn’t it, to get married and have a family? I still knew I was a daughter of God, but I hated that I couldn’t be a co-creator with Him. I felt broken, like I wasn’t a real woman.”

“I remember wondering how something that was so important in life could be denied me,” she says. “My feelings of hurt and what seemed to me to be spiritual abandonment manifested themselves through anger. I was very angry. Angry at myself. Angry at my husband. Angry at God.”

“We tried to stay positive,” Dave says, “but it was hard. I knew the importance of starting a family, but because we weren’t able to have biological children, I felt like I was being punished or short-changed.”

Blake and I have experienced all of these feelings, plus many many more! Unfortunately, it is just part of the grieving process, and one of the burdens of infertility. As a woman, I especially related to the first one a lot over the years. Not being able to have children has made me feel like less of a woman sometimes. And many men with low sperm count and quality often feel this way as well. Thanks to embryo adoption we know that I can get pregnant, but the utter terror of miscarrying again still looms over me, though I try so hard to be positive. You can sometimes feel so left out, useless and broken. Over the years many thoughts similar to those mentioned in this article have gone through my head…am I being punished for past mistakes? Am I not doing something that I should? I am more active in the church than I’ve ever been - why are we still not able to have a baby? Has God forgotten about us?

 “One of the gospel principles I’ve learned to appreciate through our experience is that Heavenly Father has a plan for each of us,” Dave adds. “Sometimes we get caught up in the one-size-fits-all mentality, and we feel that our lives should look like other people’s lives. But that’s really not true. Everyone has different trials, and Heavenly Father is aware of those. If we are humble enough to follow the plan He has for us, we’ll be happy.”

“I finally realized that infertility wasn’t a punishment,” Angie says. “Once I was past the point of anger and bitterness, I was willing to hear the Spirit and receive direction about what we were supposed to do. Of course, that comes at different points for everyone. Infertility was my refiner’s fire. My faith was strengthened through those difficult years.”

Of course God hasn’t forgotten about us! I hope those who are struggling (publicly and privately) may find some much needed comfort in this article. Hang in there, the Lord DOES have a special plan for us all. It may not always be what we had planned on, what we want, or when we want it, but he is the only one who sees the bigger picture. Serve others, seek counseling, do things to make yourself feel beautiful (or handsome), walk the dog, get a journal, start a blog, or join a support group - whatever helps you to get through your trails! 

I know that Blake and I were led to these embryos for a reason. Tears still feel my eyes (and will for many years to come) when I sit and think about our journey, especially lately. It amazes and baffles me that we were brought to these precious little snowflakes because of a dream that I had, over and over. That to me is proof that Heavenly Father has heard our prayers, was mindful of our pain, and was just waiting for the RIGHT time.

Calendar time! - Hello Baby Binder!

It's calendar time, yay! I really had hoped to not see this binder until much later. However, it was more exciting than I thought it would be to get it out. I had my Plan of Care appointment over the phone yesterday with the fertility center! So, I will be starting my shots and going to my first appointment in St. George on September 3rd! Time really has flown by, thankfully. I love the calendar because I am a HUGE list girl. I love lists! Like obsessed. Making them and checking things off keeps me organized and less stressed. Being organized (and less stressed!) is very important when you're doing a treatment. Depending on where you're at in the treatment, there are some days where several things need to be taken/injected, or need to be done. Such as appointments or blood draws. Missing something can really cause you problems, possibly even the whole treatment. Last treatment, I literally checked off each thing every single day and then triple checked it with someone nearby like Granny to re-confirm. One time I did almost inject myself with the wrong hormone, yikes. So, it's better to be safe than sorry I say! Especially when it comes to fertility treatments and their high costs.

 Blake is already dreading me being gone for two months, but I'm getting more excited, ha ha. Not only do we hope to get pregnant again (with a better outcome!), but I will also get to meet my beautiful niece who is due in October! Her adorable sonogram is below. She's already happy and smiley while she's cookin away. I keep joking with Blake and saying to him, "most men would love for their wife to be away for that long, what's wrong with you?!" He he. I must be awesome or somethin'. At least I'm hoping to leave Slinky with him this time. He's such great company and entertainment for me during the day while Blake's at work, so I thought it'd help Blake not be so lonely before and after work. We will be in a new town too, but at least Blake has lots of extended family nearby this time around. And since we will be living closer, Blake can even come visit in Utah!

Thanks everyone for your continued support!! 



Packing, packing, packing! - I have the cutest little helper!

Well this last week has been exciting! 

We found out that my husband got the job transfer he wanted, good job hubby! He totally nailed his phone interviews, I am so proud. He's a big goofball at home, so it was funny and neat to hear him sound so professional and tech-y. So, we will be MUCH closer to family, and to Utah for the fertility treatments!! What a relief, I can't even tell you. It was so hard traveling home last time, it's so stinkin' far. I was alone, drove bc flying is outrageously pricey, was newly pregnant and sick, had to give myself my shots, had a dog, and a ton of luggage. It was just too much and too far. So grateful that the Lord has answered our prayers! We can't wait to move to our new place next month and get settled. His new location is even giving him 2 weeks off, paid! What a difference already, will be a much healthier work environment for him. We're so relieved that we will be all moved in before I have to go to Utah to start the treatment in early Sept. We're cutting it close, only made it by 3 weeks or so ha ha, but we were afraid we would have to push the treatment back a couple months. Or even worse, Blake get a job offer and have to move while I'm gone! So, all is coming together nicely! Knock on wood... 

Slinky has been keeping a careful eye on me at all times as I've been packing, ha ha. He has to see EVERYTHING I'm putting in the boxes. I'm not sure if he's like "Oh great, we're moving AGAIN already! Please don't leave without me!" Or if he just wants to make sure I don't forget anything, ha ha. He looks so tiny and cute in this big ol box, love our little mouse!

It's going to be here before we know it! - Start of Round #2!

Well, this week was exciting but scary. The treatment will be here before we know it, time to start preparing for Round #2! I went in for another Sonohysterography (saline ultrasound) to make sure my uterus still looks good after the miscarriage and that there are no growths. Not pleasant, but at least it's done and over with, phew! Doctor said everything looked perfect, which was really great news. BTW, thanks insurance company for not covering any fertility testing or procedures, goodbye $540.00. Boo! Ha ha. I love that insurances cover abortions but not fertility treatments. Makes zero sense to me. Anyways, now we just wait for August, then I can start doing more to prepare for the treatment...including traveling to Utah again. Yay!!

The FET (frozen embryo transfer) is scheduled for September 25th! I will begin the Estrogen shots and pills again in the end of August/beginning of September. My rear finally isn't riddled with knotted scar tissue but is still somewhat tender. I am NOT looking forward to the shots again ha ha, but I think my poor Grandma is dreading them more. Love you Granny, thanks for being my jabber! ☺

The last four months have been such a struggle, but I am grateful for the power and comfort of prayer. Starting to prepare for the next treatment has definitely been bittersweet, but we are so blessed and comforted by our remaining embryos. We have several snowflakes left!

Wish us luck, we are so nervous! Hoping this time around turns out better for us!
Come on September, please give us a healthy baby!☺

Happy July 4th!

We hope everyone had a wonderful Independence Day! This is one of my favorite holidays. We barbequed at the church and our scouts did a program, we watched fireworks, went window shoppin at the mall, and ate some tasty bbq food from our favorite bbq place on Saturday. I hope we can all remember that our freedoms we enjoy didn't come free! So thankful to all those who have and are currently serving. 



Beauty products and infertility - harmful ingredients to watch out for!

I found the below information online after my previous sunscreen post. I thought it was also really helpful and informative, so I wanted to share it! Sadly, I'm sure I will find a lot of these toxins in my products when I check them (which I'm doing well before our next treatment!). I know checking them all seems overwhelming...make-up, face wash, lotions, nail polishes and removers, shampoo, deodorant, toothpaste, etc. But like the article states, it just may be worth it if you've suffered for years with infertility. At the least, you may feel better and be a little healthier! It's scary what the FDA does not regulate as far as beauty products go! All of this may sound crazy to some, but EVERYTHING you apply to your skin, breathe in, etc., is soaked up. You don't have to eat something for it to harm your body. I thought the below link (fertilityafter40) was cool because you can view all sorts of products and see their ratings/safety, and even look up items. I already ordered me some new toothpaste (fluoride free of course, that stuff is poison! (visit http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2013/04/30/water-fluoridation-facts.aspx to see more on that), face wash and moisturizers, and deodorant. Many all natural items are sold online and in stores. I got mine on Amazon and Walmart.com. Watch the labels though, some claim to be "natural" but still contain nasty, harmful ingredients.

Good luck!



http://www.fertilityafter40.com/toxins.html

Beauty Products & Fertility

To maximize your fertility, you need to minimize the burden of environmental toxins you place on your organs. Many cosmetics, shampoos and lotions can contain trace heavy metals, hormone and endocrine-disrupting chemicals that can affect egg quality and sperm quality. 

We slather products all over our skin and scalp everyday, and some topical ingredients get absorbed into the bloodstream. It is shocking how many very common and popular beauty products and sunscreens have harmful chemicals in them.  The FDA does not regulate beauty products. 

Check if your beauty products are safe. 
Below is a list of safe and unsafe products. Be aware that the “unsafe” list is truly overwhelming. However, if you have been battling infertility for a very long time, it might be worth the hassle to check your regular beauty products against the Environmental Working Group’s Skin Deep Database which has assessed the safety of over 22,000 products.  If they haven’t been tested yet, read the labels for the toxins described below.

Safe: 

• Beta hydroxy acids like salicylic acid (2% or less) in topical lotions (not peels or masks)*
• Alpha hydroxy acids like glycolic acid in topical lotions
• Hair remover and depilatories
• Hydrocortisone and benadryl cream for rashes
• Waxing

Not Safe:

• Salicylic Acid Peels or Masks that sit on your skin for along time and are absorbed are NOT safe. Salicylic acid has been linked to miscarriages in the first trimester.
• Retinoids also known as Retinol, isotretinoin, tretinoin, acitretin, etretinate, adapalene, tazarotene should be avoided. Oral retinoids such as Accutane have been directly linked to miscarriages and birth defects and should not be taken under any circumstance.
• Botox, Collagen, Restylane and other injectables and line fillers: the safety of these products has not been established by any extensive clinical studies. Therefore most doctors caution against it while pregnant or trying to conceive.
• Phthalates are chemicals that mimic estrogen in the body, wreaking havoc with the reproductive system.These are found in MANY MANY products including: nail and cuticle treatments, lipstick, anti-aging products, lotions, shampoos, soaps and fragrances. Note that when a product lists “Fragrances” or perfume, parfum, cologne, or scent that means its individual ingredients are protected by trade secret laws and companies are not required to divulge ingredients, some of which may pose risks. It is safest to opt for unscented or fragrance free. Aliases include: dibutyl phthalate (DBP), diethylhexyl phthalate (DEHP)
• Parabens: sodium methylparaben, methylparaben, ethylparaben, propylparaben, butylparaben. Found in MANY MANY products including: cleanser, moisturizer, shampoo, conditioner, anti-aging products, sunscreen, toner, astringent, makeup. Parabens disrupt the body's hormone systems, in fact, methylparaben is banned in the European Union.
• Permanent Hair Dyes especially those containing P-Phenylenediamine known as PPD, PPDA. High exposure has been linked to reproductive/developmental toxicity and cancer, and there's strong evidence that it's neurotoxic. Many doctors say highlights that do not touch your scalp are OK if you use natural products that don’t contain ammonia. Try not to dye your hair. If you must dye wait until the 2nd trimester.
• Keratin Hair straightening treatments or Brazilian Blowouts have not been tested for safety and the vast majority of manufacturers recommend you do not have the treatment while pregnant.
• Dandruff shampoos with coal tar (including Aminophenol, Diaminobenzene, Phenylenediamine) Coal tar is a byproduct of coal processing and is a known human carcinogen. No studies on coal tar and pregnancy have been performed, but coal tar is known to adversely affect cellular turnover.
• Tooth Whitening. No evidence exists that peroxide-based tooth-whitening products are harmful to pregnant women, but most dentists advise not taking the risk.
• Skin lighteners with hydroquinone. In animal studies, hydroquinone has caused tumor development.
• Nail Polish and Removers with Toluene, Methylbenzene, Formaldehyde, Camphor, and DBP (dibutyl phthalate). There is a high risk for developmental and reproductive toxicity, including brain and cell damage, when exposed to large doses of toluene, particularly when it is inhaled.  There are non-toxic nail polishes available read the Daily Green for a list.
• Antimicrobial Soaps with Triclosan or Triclocarban which disrupts thyroid function and reproductive hormones.
• Formaldehyde found in nail-strengthening and cuticle treatments, hair color/bleaching, styling gel/lotion.  Formaldehyde has proven links to cancer and reproductive/developmental toxicity.
• Glycol ethers found in shampoos, cosmetics, laundry detergents, liquid soaps. Has been linked to reduced sperm counts in men, increased risk of birth defects in pregnant women, lung damage, and asthma. 
• Soy, and Oil of Bergamot ingredients in beauty products are not necessarily dangerous but can make the 'mask of pregnancy' (dark splotches on facial skin) worse
• Avoid these other ingredients: lead acetate, methylisothiazolinone (MIT) and selenium which are not common, but highly dangerous to pregnant women and still found in some cosmetics, hair dyes and beauty products.

Source: Total Beauty, BabyZone, Environmental Working Group, BabyCenter, WebMD

Toxic sunscreens can cause fertility issues! - Keep your families safe and fertile

Being a couple who suffers with infertility (causes unknown for us both), my heart always sinks when I see articles like this! So sad when things like our sunscreens (something that we wear to be SAFE!) contain toxic ingredients that can cause us and our unborn babies harm. The two ingredients below in bold (when used in sunscreen), can disrupt the endocrine systems and cause fertility issues because of their reaction with the sunlight. It can alter men's sperm, cause multiple female fertility issues, Endometriosis, and even speed up cancer when used in high doses. My husband spent 3+ years working outside, and spent 2 years in Mexico on his mission...slathered with toxic sunscreen. I'm sure the effects weren't good. I've also been buying and using these unsafe brands my whole life.  After reading this, I purchased some Blue Lizard sunscreen online!

A 2008 study showed that Neutrogena is the most harmful brand. Please don't purchase it, Banana Boat, or Coppertone. Our poor bodies are already so bogged down with toxins from foods, pesticides, cleaners, beverages, etc. Why add to it?! 

There are 2 lists of harmful sunscreens toward the bottom of the article, along with a list of safe ones. Many brands like Badger and Blue Lizard are also available at Walgreens. Below is a list of safe brands I found available on Amazon that are mentioned in the article, I'm sure there are more...

Badger

Blue Lizard

Think Baby

Think Sport

Sunology

Raw Elements

Babo

Alba

Adorable Baby

Loving Naturals

Goddess Garden

Solbar

Article link:

  http://www.vancitybuzz.com/2015/06/neutrogena-sunscreen-toxic-avoid/

Oxybenzone

Oxybenzone is part of a class of aromatic ketones called benzophenones, and is used in many sunscreens, hair sprays, cosmetics and nail polishes. It is also used in plastics to absorb ultraviolet light. With its use in sunscreen as a broad-spectrum UVB and and short-wave UVA protector, it is acts as a endocrine disruptor.

Endocrine disruptors like oxybenzone interfere with the hormone system, potentially causing cancer, birth defects and developmental disorders. A 2008 study looking at the effects of oxybenzone on juvenile rainbow trout and Japanese medaka, found that those samples exposed to the ketone produced a decreased number of eggs, a smaller percentage of fertilized eggs and a smaller percentage of hatched, or viable, eggs.

According to EWG, oxybenzone acts like estrogen in the body and alters sperm production in males. It is also associated with endometriosis in women and may cause fertility problems.

Oxybenzone is detected in nearly every American and found in mothers’ milk.

Retinyl Palmitate

Retinyl palmitate is a form of vitamin A used in sunscreens and has been found to accelerate cancer in high doses applied to the skin. While the evidence is not definitive, says EWG, it is troubling. A U.S. government study found that it “may speed the development of skin tumors and lesions when applied to the skin in the presence of sunlight.”

Vitamin A, or Retinol, is also used in many skin products that promise to slow the signs of aging, however its controversy as an ingredient in sunscreen is due to its effects when exposed to sunlight. The harmful effects of retinyl palmitate include brittle nails, hair loss, liver damage, osteoporosis and hip fractures. Norwegian health authorities have also urged women pregnant or breastfeeding to avoid any products with vitamin A due to the skeletal birth defects it may cause.

From blog to book & Happy Father's Day!

Our book came while we were on vacation, we love it! It is so nice to have such a neat keepsake of our first pregnancy and frozen embryo transfer adventure. I love having something that I can actually hold in my hands. The blog is nice, but you can't hold it, ha ha. It was worth the $30.00, I highly recommend Shared Book! I got to choose my pictures, book cover, imported my entire blog (you can also just choose certain posts if you want), and everything. There's even a dedication section. Definitely will use them again.

 

We have been hanging in there as best as possible. Still have bad days of course, it's only been 3 months, but I'm so grateful for my husband and family. It's crazy to think that I would be going on 6 months pregnant, I just can't even process, visualize, or imagine that. Oddly that gives me comfort though, I know that baby was meant to return to our Heavenly Father. I know this father's day probably isn't easy for Blake, but he is always strong for me. He will be a hilarious, fun, creative, loving, and incredible father one day. I can't wait to see him holding OUR baby some day ♥ Our next treatment is scheduled for September 25th! It seemed too soon at first, but we (especially me) needed something to look forward to. Please keep us in your prayers, that our hearts may continue to heal, and that the next treatment will have a better outcome. Hope is so hard to hang onto sometimes, but we still have it...I think, ha ha! I'm more sure some days than others. 

Happy Father's Day to my sweet hubby, and all the other daddy's out there! I'm so very grateful for my dad. He is the most generous person I know, thanks for all you do and have done for us Dad!!!