16 weeks - Ears, facial expressions & movement!

This week the twins are 4-5 inches long and weigh in around 3-4 ounces each! I've noticed the biggest growth difference with my belly over the last week or so. It's looking bigger on the outside, and is definitely feeling bigger inside. It's a weird feeling, being conscious and aware of your uterus, lol. I swear I've felt the babies move a few times over the last week or so!! And at 13.5 weeks, but I wasn't sure if that's what it was, ha ha. I've never felt anything like it before. Not like gas bubbles at all. I've read that you can sometimes feel twins as early as 12 weeks. Very exciting! So thrilled to officially be a full four months along on January 2nd. Woo! 

The babies eyes can now perceive light even though their eyelids are still sealed. And, their eyes can make small side to side movements. Tiny bones are in place in their ears so they can hear muffled noises now, and they can even make a couple of facial expressions. They're mostly squinting and frowning for now, but still so cute! The muscles in their tiny back's are getting stronger, so they're able to stretch out more. Next appointment and ultrasound is mid January. I will be doing an early glucose test then and some bloodwork. 

I haven't gained any weight so far. I'm still 10 lbs under my pre-treatment weight due to having such severe morning sickness in the beginning. I bet I lost close to 15 - 20 lbs. So sick! But, I'm over weight so it's not a big deal, the babies have both measured perfectly at every ultrasound so far. The doctors said twins eat up a lot of your calories in the first half of pregnancy anyway due to all the amazing growth. They do go from being microscopic to approximately 6 inches long at 20 weeks afterall! 

I'm feeling fairly good lately. Still pretty tired but not sleeping as well sadly. I still like to lay down often because sitting, walking and standing for too long makes the ligaments ache and spasm. I'm starting to get uncomfortable in bed already because of my belly and so much side sleeping. I think a body/pregnancy pillow in is order now. I've started stretching since the round ligament pain isn't as intense now. A heat pad at night before bed helps my back feel better and relax some also. I can only imagine how bad my back is going to hurt in 16 more weeks, ha ha! :O Just so thrilled they're doing well and to be expecting though, so I welcome any and all things pregnancy!

I still can't eat pork or burger without gagging or a sick tummy later, so I avoid it. Greasy and spicy are still a big no-no. I haven't been able to tolerate sweets very well so far, but I was able to eat TWO tasty brownies this week! Thanks Christopher! Along with some Sour Patch Kids gummy candies. Definitely can't eat too much sweets though, tastes extra sugary and rich while pregnant. Still loving green salads, toast with jelly, fruits, veggies, juice, and anything potato though. 

We had a very Merry Christmas with our families last week, and hope this new year will be the best yet!! Happy New Year everyone!

Here's a belly shot from today :)
16 weeks 2 days

An ornament for our angel - Merry Christmas Cannon!

(photo credit: unknown, google)

I still cry and think often of our first baby that we lost early this year. Yes, I'm chalk full of hormones from our sweet twins, but I miss this little one we never knew SO much. There's just something so special about the bond of a mother and the baby(ies) she's carrying. Although I miscarried in the first trimester, this baby still meant the world to us. I don't think it matters how soon or late it happens, it all hurts so bad. We had been waiting and waiting and waiting to finally be pregnant or adopt...and we got to do both, thanks to Embryo Adoption! It was finally our turn. Eight years is a LONG time to wait. When we found out the first transfer was successful and that we were expecting, our lives were forever changed. And changed even more when we lost the baby at only 10 weeks. Though this little one wasn't fully developed and only the size of an olive, it was so precious to us. Cannon had a heart beat and was growing strong until the hemorrhages complicated things. I try to not dwell on that though. Constantly thinking "what if's" makes things harder.

While we adopted these embryos from another couple, they're still very much OUR babies. While Cannon's life with us on earth wasn't meant to be for long, he/she still blessed us in so many ways. I am so grateful for that this holiday season. It may sound weird, but I often feel the spirit of someone so small and so sweet when saying my prayers. It always brings me to tears. I just know it's Cannon comforting me. I hope he/she continues to watch over us and the twins. I'm pretty sure that Cannon, along with Gma Sandy, sent them special order just for us - to help heal our broken hearts. This holiday season I know that Cannon is in heaven with our other loved ones, the angels, and our beloved Savior. That is the only thing that brings me comfort, along with our LDS beliefs that "families are forever". This post was very hard for me to write, wasn't expecting that. Should've known though, I haven't been able to bring myself to make Cannon's shadow box just yet. But, I felt that an ornament for Christmas was definitely in order! Blake and I both saw these beautiful snowflake ornaments at exactly the same time at the store. So awesome! I have faith that Heavenly Father will continue to help us through this. I am so thankful for my husband, our families, friends, and the two sweet babies on the way!

Merry Christmas our little snowflake! 

15 weeks! - Wiggly babies & Merry Christmas

I had an appointment with Dr. O on Thursday. Just a check up and question answering. Unfortunately he wasn't able to see well enough to tell us the babies' genders. He actually gave up on trying to even get us some cute ultrasound pics because the babies are so dang wiggly, ha ha. So, we will have to wait until the anatomy scan at 20 weeks to find out the genders. Rather be safe than sorry, don't want incorrect results, ha ha. That wouldn't be fun. Plus it's still kinda early so I wasn't surprised. He said he honestly wouldn't waste money on a 3d place either. Apparently he's had some past patients expecting multiples who told him some of the 3d places wouldn't even see them because they weren't confident they could accurately tell what each baby was. Crazy. We're just happy they're both still healthy and so active! Both their heart rates were good, and he said it's great they're so wiggly...except for when you're trying to get pictures, ha ha. 

I do an early glucose test at my appointment next month. Because you have double the hormones with twins, it's much easier to get Diabetes. So hopefully that goes well. He said my crazy upper abdominal bloating is very normal. I seriously feel like I'm gonna pop 24/7. I've never been so burpy, ha ha. He said it's from double the progesterone and the shifting of my organs. He was happy to hear that the ligament pain has lessened, he said it can be absolutely brutal for some women. I'm not as insanely exhausted (still stinkin tired, don't get me wrong, lol), so that's nice. I have only napped once or twice in the past couple weeks, rather than a 3 hour nap daily. So great to have a little bit of energy. Dr. O said to enjoy the next couple of months. We are out of the scary zone, and said we don't need to worry about anything until about 6-7 months (early labor). They're still going to keep an eye on my cervix though.

I was 15 weeks yesterday! This week the babies will grow to as big as 4.5 inches long, and are the size of a naval orange! They're getting so big, their growth just amazes me. By next week their ears will be working and they will be able to hear my voice, rumbling tummy, heart beat, Slinky barks, etc. This week they can wiggle their tiny toes and fingers! I LOVE seeing their tiny tootsies on the ultrasounds, baby toes are the best! They also are making breathing movements in preparation for life outside the belly. Baby A is still quite the character, Dr. O said she/he kicked me right in the cervix during the ultrasound, ha ha. Least they weren't fighting this time and kicking each other, lol.

Blurry face shot of Baby A, looking right at us as usual :)

The greatest gift I'm getting this Christmas season is being pregnant with healthy twins!! We are unbelievably grateful for these little miracles, and for the joy they already bring to our lives. I randomly say, "Hey guess what?! We're having twins!" to Blake, lol. It's still shocking and extra exciting some days. We were so thrilled when just one embryo attached with the first transfer, feeling soo blessed that BOTH did this time! I love them so much already and can't imagine what it'll be like seeing them for the first time. So exciting!

I am so grateful for the Savior's love and mercy for us. As we celebrate with our family and friends this week, exchange gifts, eat yummy food, and attend parties...I hope that we can all remember the true reason for this holiday, his birth. We hope you all have a very Merry Christmas, and are touched by the spirit this holiday season! 

What are the genders of the twins?! - Come cast your vote!!

Will it be BOYS?! GIRLS?! OR BOTH, 1 OF EACH?!

While we aren't 100% sure when we are going to be able to find out, still cast your vote! We are hoping to know by Christmas or New Years. We hope it's sooner rather than later, because of course we are dying to know! But at the same time...I'm only 14.5 weeks, we definitely have some little wiggle worms on our hands, and I'm told twins often tend to not cooperate at the same time (we already know Baby B likes to hide!). But don't forget to vote! Blake says 1 of each, and I think maybe boys :) Sorry to my Dad, but we just HAVE to find out!

The poll is located in the top right corner of the blog, above the sandy snowflake. Everyone is welcome to vote, but please only vote once per person or it's no fun :) *Note...if you're having trouble voting for more than one person (it keeps saying "change your vote", and won't let you cast a new one), just go to the blog on different devices (laptops, phones, kindles, iPads, etc.) for each vote.

14 weeks - Lemons & Slinky snuggles!

I'm officially in the 2nd trimester! THIS GIRL!!! Woo hoo! My belly is getting tighter...can't wait til it's bigger, I'm less bloated (probably just dreaming huh?), and stays popped out. It's very easy to see and feel when laying down. Still very low, but getting firmer. I'm still so bloated that you can't tell that I'm actually pregnant when standing. Soon enough though! My pregnancy app said that I "may" be experiencing some uterus growing pains. I was like MAY! MAYYYY!! I feel like I've been being stabbed in the gut for awhile now, ha ha. At least the pain is starting to lessen somewhat, so I've been able to do a little more around the house. Dishes and laundry are much easier, but vacuuming and lifting most things are still a no go. Glad Blake helps. Don't get me wrong, I still hurt quite badly at times, but usually only if I overdo it. Better than constantly in pain, so we will take it!

I've been eating more (but have lost a few more lbs - they're sucking it out of me as soon as I eat it, ha ha), napping way less, and not feeling as super exhausted. Still eating lots of bananas, apples, steamed veggies, cereal, Gatorade, bean burritos, and turkey sandwiches. The babies must really like apples and beans, ha ha. I am SOO thirsty at night though. A few nights ago I downed 5.5 water bottles. Regular sized ones, not small. It's nuts! I noticed if I just drink a Gatorade though, I can actually sleep. It quenches my thirst the best. Big news...I even had the energy and appetite to make enchiladas the other night. Go me, ha ha! I'm sure Blake was beyond thrilled.

The twins are now each the size of a lemon! So cute, we love our little lemons! This week they're starting to sport some Lanugo (downy hair covering the body). It helps keep them warm over the next few months until they pack on some chub. They're also getting a new roof! The roof of their mouth is forming this week, if it hasn't already. Really cool. And, their tiny intestines are starting to produce Meconium (makes up their first bowel movement after birth, aka "tar poop"). My next appointment with Dr. O is later this week. Hopefully we can see the babies again because Blake gets to come to this appointment. Wonder if they will both put on a circus act again, or if Baby B is gonna be shy and sleepy? I wish so bad that Blake could have seen how crazy they BOTH were while doing the NT scan, lol.

Still hoping to find out the babies' genders before Christmas, but I will only be 16 weeks the day after Christmas. So we will see if it works out or not. I've been getting that question a lot, don't worry! We will post as soon as we know if we are getting boys, girls, or one of each :) I'm going to put a poll up soon so you all can vote, keep an eye out for the post announcing that it's on here!

I got an email about my bloodwork portion of the NT testing. From what I could tell, everything looks good. My risk level of the twins having abnormalities is as low as a low risk singleton pregnancy. So that's great news. They are unable to test for Edwards or Patau syndromes though because it's twins. But, last week the ultrasound tech said to not worry too much because the neck fluid, arms, and leg bone measurements came back great. They also both have prominent nose bones. All are really good things. Not that we would love them any less if they did test positive for abnormalities!! We figured they were ok though, the couple who donated our precious snowflakes to us had already been tested themselves for all major diseases and any family history of abnormalities before doing their IVF cycle. Keep growing babies!

(photo credit: imagesbot.com)

I'm not sure if Slinky knows what's going on or not, ha ha? When I hold him lately he always snuggles by my belly. Which he normally doesn't do. He's usually in my arms or by my feet. But, he doesn't smell me a lot like other dogs do. My grandparent's dogs were smelling me like crazy before I even had my first pregnancy test. Bozzy definitely knew there was something different. Maybe it's cause Slinky is getting older. His eyesight and smell are going. Makes me so sad. I'm so curious to find out what he will think of them when they get here though. He's never really been around teenie tiny babies. I watched my friend's son for her years back and Slinky was not a fan. I had to gate him in a bedroom because once Conner started crawling toward him, he would bark and run in circles, ha ha. Slink did smell and check out my newborn niece last month in her carseat though, so I thought oh good he's doing ok so far. But, then he tried to lightly nibble her little toes, so we snatched him off the couch in a flash, ha ha. It'll be interesting! Maybe if he knows the twins are ours and here to stay, and we can bring home their blankets from the hospital, he might adjust ok. He's been our only baby for 11 years now! Can't totally blame him for being skiddish around what look like weird, shrieking, little creatures to him. Thought this picture was cute though! :) We love our Slinky Dink!

Pregnancy + food allergies = NOT fun!

Suffering from multiple food allergies is never fun, especially when you're pregnant! I seriously cried the other day because I can't have a frosty or pizza hut. And I would kill for some macaroni salad or some yummy mexican food right now! Gotta love having double the hormones from twins, ha ha. I still love you sweet babies!! But seriously...poor Blake, ha ha. I'm totally fuming right now because I feel like I can't eat anything. Gluten, dairy, oats, and strawberries can take a hike! Sitting here (very pitifully) eating steamed veggies instead :( Sad day. 

10 Reasons Why a Twin Pregnancy Is Not the Same As a Singleton - This is SO funny!

I came across this online and got laughing PRETTY hard! So I wanted to share it. She describes things so cutely and honestly. And, she is spot on with so many things...magnified morning sickness, not being able to get up by yourself starting in the first trimester, ultrasound pics galore, high-risk-ville, exhausted just walking to the bathroom, all the twin terms (I now know all the ones she mentions ha ha), and nothing fitting short of a circus tent later on, ha ha! I'm sure I will outgrow my maternity clothes in no time! My belly is already as big as someone who is 2 months ahead of me with a single baby :) I'm gonna be huge, it's gonna be awesome!!

10 Reasons Why a Twin Pregnancy Is Not the Same As a Singleton

by HEATHER MILNER

The moment those two little pink lines appear, confirming your suspicions, your life changes. It’s exhilarating, overwhelming, terrifying, and awesome all at once. You head into your OB’s office to get things in tip-top order and to have an ultrasound. Your ultrasound tech smiles as you expose your midsection in anticipation of seeing that little bean for the first time and knowing for sure that you are indeed pregnant. You notice your tech staring at the screen a little too intently, as she moves her wand around getting different views. You watch the monitor full of swirling gray hues, trying to decipher what she’s seeing, when suddenly she stops on an image and says, “Ah, I thought so. There’s baby B. You’re having twins!” BOOM! You have officially entered a whole new realm of pregnancy! Welcome!

Despite what others may try to tell you, a twin pregnancy is NOT the same as a singleton. I am in no way trying to say having a singleton pregnancy is a breeze, because growing tiny humans is hard work, but it is different. Here’s a list of 10 things you can expect if your joy/fear/stress/elation has just doubled in the blink of an eye.

1. Welcome to a High Risk pregnancy. Are you perfectly healthy? Are your twins growing beautifully? Do you currently feel great? It doesn’t matter! You have been given a one way-ticket to High-Risk-Ville and all the perks that go along with it! You will be poked, prodded, and monitored as if you were, in fact, dying of a rare tropical disease.

2. Hello puke bucket! Morning sickness is terrible. Morning sickness with twins is downright inhumane. Double the hormones, quadruple the queasiness. You will, in your first 18 weeks or so, grow attached to a special bowl (mine was red) used solely for throwing up in. You will tote this new accessory everywhere you go and start to feel naked without it. Your trusty sidekick will be right there as you masochistically watch the Food Network, desperately wanting to eat something real, but the second you get a whiff of anything food related, you lunge for your steadfast partner, the puke bucket. After a few weeks of this, with insanely sore muscles and a certainty that you’ve torn something internally, you will become a Zofran-popping fool, or you just might opt for the continuous flow of liquid anti-nausea gold and use the pump! Anything it takes to stop the torture.

3. Ultrasounds! Ultrasounds galore! It’s normally tons of fun to have an ultrasound or two done to check on the progress of your little bean, but when you have two beans to monitor, ultrasound appointments become constants in your life, like sleeping, or breathing. You will have them all the time! You will be on a first name basis with several ultrasound techs as your pregnancy advances. By the end of your 8-9 month ordeal you will have zero trouble yanking up your shirt and pulling down your pants in a dimly lit small room while strangers occasionally walk in and out. You will also have an arsenal of prenatal photos that could fill a memory book, and they haven’t even arrived yet.

4. Maternity clothes are not made for multiples. You’ve gone out shopping and found some adorable tops to match your new stretchy band pants that will accommodate you throughout your entire pregnancy, making you both fashionable and comfortable, right? Wrong! Once you hit the third trimester mark (even sooner for some), there is no top, short of a circus tent, that will cover the bottom of your belly. I don’t care how tiny you started out. Two humans take up a lot of space, and your miraculous body will stretch to unimaginable sizes that will pop out of your outfit. Embrace it, dear sister. You’re a superhero.

5. You will learn a new language. The word “singleton” has just been added to your vocabulary, along with monozygotic, dizygotic, mono-di, di-di, TTTS, NICU, fraternal, identical, etc. Look at you, you smartypants! Who knew a twin pregnancy would expand the mind as well?

6. Exhaustion. It is real and it is terrible. You will be exhausted after going to the bathroom to pee for the umpteenth time, or walking from the couch to your bedroom, or talking on the phone, or loading the dishwasher, or, heaven forbid, walking up the stairs. You will want to collapse and never get up, and at some point you won’t be able to without help. And all this will start during your first trimester.

7. Physics will play a larger role in your life than you ever thought possible. The bigger you get (and let’s face it darling: You’re going to bypass sweet belly bump and head right into the land of the giants rather quickly, but it’s totally OK) the harder every task becomes. Newton’s first law of physics — an object at rest stays at rest and an object in motion stays in motion unless acted upon — is 100% you. It will take a great deal of force to move you from a resting state to a moving one, like getting up from a chair (and for the love of all things holy, do not sit on the floor! You might as well just stay there). It’s not your fault, honestly. You will find yourself trying to bend over to grab something low to the ground or tie your shoe (assuming you can still see your feet, let alone reach them) and you will topple over, because you will remain in motion until the floor stops you. Physics can be cruel to a pregnant woman, especially one with twins.

8. Inappropriate questions, comments, and reactions from complete strangers. You have only just begun to deal with this humdinger. Your larger belly is like a neon sign that the public can’t help but notice. People are curious, especially about multiples, and many are not afraid to ask questions or simply comment on your current state of being. Some questions are fine, but some will make you cringe. You will be asked, “Did you conceive naturally or did you need help?” “Do twins run in your family?” “How much bigger can you possibly get?” When I was around 30 weeks pregnant, I attended my niece’s wedding. After running all over town to find something cute that I looked half decent in (see #4) I was ready for the event. Not two minutes after stepping foot into the reception I heard, “Wow! What are you trying to do? Smuggle in some basketballs?” from a complete stranger. Honestly! You can’t make this stuff up! It’s going to happen, so be prepared to either walk away, smile and laugh while dying a little on the inside, or open a can of whoop-ass. It’s completely up to you (and we’ll be by your side ready to open a can of our own).

9. Invest in an under belly support band. Just do it. You can thank me later.

10. So…incredibly…uncomfortable. Trust me when I tell you that hauling around two tiny humans and all their cargo (placentas, amniotic sacs, etc.) is just plain uncomfortable. A regular singleton pregnancy is uncomfortable around 8-9 months, but a twin pregnancy is uncomfortable around 6 months. The further along you are, the worse it becomes. Just breathing becomes difficult for crying out loud! As your beautiful babies grow, they will both try to stretch into places no tiny feet should be near, let alone wedged into. They will kick and move and squirm, and it’s amazing to feel and watch, until it isn’t. As your belly nears its breaking point, your now-taut skin will hurt, itch, and be sensitive to touch. There aren’t enough pillows in the world to support your heaving figure. A singleton pregnancy is similar to this last one, I will admit, but trust me when I say the discomfort is magnified with twins. It just is. You will be miserable, but you’ll also be fabulous!

Embrace those tiny creatures and roll with the insanity that is a twin pregnancy. You’ll have scars, stretch marks, and stories for days by the time you’re done. Oh, and two new additions, of course!

13 weeks! - NT testing & Ligament pain

NT testing 

I had the scan done today for the NT testing (Nuchal Translucency), along with a consult with the Perinatal Specialist, Dr. E (high risk doctor). This ultrasound and bloodwork checks for Downs Syndrome, heart defects, and other chromosomal abnormalities. I've mentioned this before, but to read more about this, you can visit (http://www.babycenter.com/0_nuchal-translucency-scan-nt-scan_118.bc#articlesection1).

Anyway, it went perfect! The babies' neck fluid measurements, bladders, stomachs and intestines all looked great. The fluid measurement needed to be under 3 but greater than 1. They were perfectly in the middle. They're so cute, and it's fun to see them get bigger and bigger every time. So happy they're healthy and growing! I can't help but worry that something may still go wrong, but today was comforting. Still blows us away that there are 2 in there :) It took forever to do the scan though, we no longer have a lazy one and a crazy one, ha ha. Both were absolutely bouncing OFF THE WALLS. Baby B, who is normally very mellow, kept posing for us, doing flips, and would hide when we needed to measure. And, Baby A, who is our crazy dancer, was jumping all over the place and rolling around. It never tries hiding. It loves to stretch it's little legs out all the way, wave, and bob it's head. The tech was cracking up because it kept looking right at us and waving. Poor thing was probably like aren't you guys done yet? Please leave! By the end of the scan the tech said, "Oh my goodness girl, you're gonna have your hands full with these two! They're hilarious!" Ha ha. It was fun to see them both so active, Baby B has always been quite mellow.

We weren't able to tell the genders today because they wouldn't hold still for one second ha ha, but she said they're also still a little too small. She didn't want to make any guesses because she definitely wasn't sure. So, we hope to find out on the 17th at my next appointment with my very favorite Dr. O. We shall see though, they might be stinkers and won't cooperate. I was thinking about going to a 3d place, but these poor babies undergo enough ultrasounds as it is. Ultrasounds can temporarily heat up tissue and cause air bubbles if the tech doesn't know what they're doing. So, all these ultrasounds make me kinda nervous, don't want to subject them to more than is already needed. Because that's A LOT, ha ha. Not gonna lie though, we do love seeing the twinnies!

I don't need to see Dr. E at the high risk office again for 7 more weeks. We will do a level 2 growth scan then. But, in the mean time, I have to do an early glucose test. So we will see when they want me to do that. He said I look very healthy (which I appreciated because I know I'm still over weight) and that the babies couldn't look better, but there's just a much greater risk of developing diabetes with twins because of the extra hormones. So hopefully all goes well with that. Dr. E was quite the character, and was very pleased with the babies' scan results. He said to stay off the internet because it will only worry me, to rest, and just enjoy our babies! :) He's hoping I will get some relief on this ligament pain in the next couple weeks. He said it subsides after your belly is popped out full time. My uterus is already just below my belly button, so hopefully it'll be soon. Here's some shots from today. They aren't great because they were so active, but they're still cute!

Both babies, A is full body in the front with his/her foot up, and you can see B's foot in the sac behind :)

Baby A's profile. Can't wait for the babies to be a little bigger so the images are more clear. 

Baby B's back to us, head on the right, bum bum on the left, he he.

What the twins are up to at 13 weeks!

I can't believe the babies are growing to the size of a peach this week! That's about 3 inches long. Their tiny arms and legs are starting to grow bones, and the vocal cords are under construction. Yay for that because I love baby babble and cooing! Also, their little intestines have moved from the umbilical cord to their right place in the abdomen. We could tell that today during the scan. Crazy though huh, we've never heard that the intestines are originally in the cord!

Round ligament pain STINKS!!

The round ligament pain has gotten soooo much worse. I'm in tears at least once most days, have to move as slow as tar just to try to avoid spasms, and spend most of my days laying on the couch cause sitting hurts. Not fun. I thought this was interesting and wanted to share some of the info I found online in case we have some blog followers also suffering with this. Some women really suffer from this, while others are never phased. I thought I was dying last night. I cannot wait until the pain lessens. I worry about the babies enough without this going on too.

 There are several thick ligaments that support your uterus, one of them is the round ligament. The ligaments are normally short and thick. As your uterus grows they stretch out, A LOT. They're like tight rubber bands that keep your uterus from falling all the way forward when you're further along in pregnancy. As they start to lengthen and stretch, it can be extremely painful. Your uterus does go from the size of a pear to a beach ball after all! The ligaments can pull on nerve fibers and other things in the pelvis, making it more painful. Quick movements (or just laying there sometimes, ha ha) causes them to tighten and spasm. I read online that one woman collapsed to her knees in pain at a grocery store from a spasm. Not cool. It's a very unique pain, it can be a dull ache sometimes, or a quick, burning, and stabbing pain. That's where I'm at right now, I feel like I'm being stabbed with a hot knife in the pelvis/groin area about a dozen times each day. Rarely do I have a good day. The round ligaments connect your womb to your groin, the area where your legs attach to your pelvis. So it only makes sense that it hurts way low down. Warm baths, heat pads, knee stretches, and Tylenol are the only things I can seem to find online that may help alleviate the pain. Dr. E said you pretty much just have to power through it. Some websites recommend working out and stretching, but that just about killed me. Other websites recommend lots of rest and slow movement, so did Dr. E. Just listen to your body. Besides the pain, it can be extra scary because it's some of the same symptoms as placental abruption (when the placenta starts tearing away from the uterus wall), and also can be mistaken for early labor...we found that out the day before Thanksgiving at the ER, ha ha. Since I still have no cramps or any bleeding, we aren't going to worry for now. And my cervix was re-measured today and still looks great. I had Blake give me a blessing anyways. So grateful for him! Hoping I get some relief and can quit worrying somewhat...because of course every twinge terrifies me!

Please keep the babies in your prayers. While we are hopeful and verrry excited they're both healthy, we are still scared to death. Pretty sure that feeling is not going away anytime soon, ha ha. Even after they're born. But, thank you for your support!

12 weeks! - A belly bump AND baby A's placenta has moved!!!

12 weeks...we are so very thrilled to be to this point! I am 12 weeks, ME!!! Woo! The risk for a miscarriage goes down a lot now. It doesn't guarantee that nothing will happen at all during the course of the pregnancy, but boy is it still a relief. Hello second trimester! We hope we don't have anymore scares, but it was nice to be able to see the babies again while at the ER last week. They're so precious, can't believe they're OURS! We love that one is a crazy little dancer, and the other is super mellow. So cute! Some mornings I wake up and I forget for a half a second that I'm pregnant, and then my whole day is completely made when my brain fires up and I remember that there are TWO little babies in there :) We're sooo lucky!

This week the babies are headed toward 2.5 inches long and weighing in at approx half an ounce! They're now the size of a large plum, and their tiny heads are as big as grapes now! Granted they have a lot of maturing to do, it's still so neat to think about. It's only been nine weeks since the transfer...going from microscopic to a plum is pretty impressive! Their bone marrow is starting to produce white blood cells to help keep them healthy after they come into the world. Their digestive systems are starting to contract so they can practice movements necessary for eating. Their kidneys are producing urine, their eyes are closer together, and their ears are almost in their final position. They resemble tiny humans now and look much less alien-like. Their pituitary glands are also starting to make hormones that will help them have children of their own some day! We hope with every fiber of our beings that our sweet babies never have to experience the heartbreak of infertility.

I'm definitely feeling better than I was on Wednesday. Still sore but the pressure has gone and the pain has lessened. Hoping our little ER visit doesn't end up costing us an arm and a leg. Since I'm feeling better the doc doesn't need to see me until the 17th. Good news. AND...I heard from the charge nurse today that my ER ultrasound showed that Baby A's placenta is no longer partially over my cervix!! Yay! That'd explain why the bleeding has decreased to almost nothing over the last week or so. Sometimes these placentas have a mind of their own and can sometimes move back, but we are praying it keeps moving upward as it should. If it's in a good spot and both babies are turned head down, I will be able to have them naturally! I don't do well with surgeries, pain wise. And, I scar badly (Keloidal Scarring) as well. So, I'm terrified of a csection, but will do whatever is needed to get them here safely. Crossing our fingers that I can have them naturally. Keep growing babies, we love you!

Lastly, but definitely not least!...I am super excited to post this pic of me in my jammies, he he...because I have a belly bump!!! ME! I have waited almost NINE YEARS for this moment! We celebrate our 9th anniversary this week and have been trying since we got married. It's easier to feel and see when I'm laying down of course, but here it is! I've seriously bawled several times today so far, so grateful for these two tiny miracles. My belly has felt different internally (if that makes sense) for a few days now, but I didn't really check it out cause I've been so exhausted. But, I couldn't help but notice my bump this morning! It's not super big of course, but I will be huge before we know it :) Hello babies!!


12 weeks 2 days

A trip to the ER & 20 Fun Facts About Twins!

ER VISIT
The day before Thanksgiving my doctor had me go to the ER just to be safe. I had been having an increased feeling of pressure and pain. And it wasn't ligament pain (which is absolutely awful by the way!), I could tell it was something different. His office was closed and so was the high risk doctors due to the holidays. So, the ER it was (I was very impressed with the hospital and staff by the way!). He wasn't worried about the small changes in bleeding, but was worried about the pain and pressure because that can sometimes be a sign of early labor/shortening of the cervix. Everything looked great though! My cervix needed to be at least 2.5cm, 1cm = very scary, bed rest, and a possible cerclage (cervix stitched closed). Mine measured at a great 4.4, but they're gonna keep a good eye on it, and I'm supposed to rest a little more. We love good news! So grateful for a caring doctor who is willing to text and call me on his days off, and arrange my pre-arrival with the hospital so we wouldn't be there as long!

 We got to see the babies on the ultrasound screen again, Blake was so happy since he missed the last one! We absolutely love their tiny, adorable toes! Baby A was very active again, flopping and flipping all over the place. Baby B was just kicked back again, ha ha. Wasn't sleeping and still moving, but not having a party like it's brother or sister next door, lol. So in love with these two! Baby A measured 44.5mm with a heart rate of 175, and Baby B measured 47.3mm with a heart rate of 158. They seem to take turns with growing and then measuring the same. Both measured approx 11 weeks 3 days on Wednesday. I will be 12 weeks tomorrow, woo hoo!! So happy to make it out of the "scary zone"!

The ER treated me for a very mild bladder infection, no idea I even had one. They said I'm basically experiencing growing pains, but that the babies look great. It's only gonna get worse, so I'm supposed to rest extra and take Tylenol on really painful days. Following up with Dr. O on Monday. A belly support band and heating pad were recommended to me to help with the pressure/pain. Just so glad they're ok and growing, we hate scares though!

FUN FACTS 
Twins are amazing! I think our favorite facts are 1, 5, 6 and 7. So interesting! Our twins have been deemed as Dichorionic Diamniotic (DCDM). That means they have separate amnions and chorions (amniotic sacs and chorionic sacs - chorionic membrane is the outer most membrane closest to the placenta). The fertility center said that they had separate placentas early on, so they're fraternal. But at the last ultrasound in the ER, it appeared that they have only one placenta to the tech. It is common to have the two placentas fuse though. We will know more regarding the placenta(s) over the next few weeks hopefully because of the testing coming up. Sometimes it's impossible to tell though and couples must wait to have the placenta examined at birth to dicifer if their babies are identical. Of course if it's a boy and girl they're fraternal. We can't wait to find out the genders!

1. Twins bond in the womb. By examining 3D ultrasound images, a study in Padova, Italy found that fetuses start deliberately interacting at 14 weeks.

2. University of Utah researchers who studied birth and death records between 1800 and 1970 found that the mothers of twins tend to live longer than moms without twins.

3. Identical twins share the same DNA but do not have the same fingerprints. Even though they have identical DNA, fingerprints are formed by babies touching the amniotic sac, whose unique forms and ridges leave us with our individual fingerprints.

4. 22 % percent of twins are left handed, compared to 10% in singletons.

5. What sounds like kids' babbling could actually be cryptophasia, a language developed between twins that only they can understand. Research published in the journal Institute of General Linguistics found that twin babies often use each other to learn vocabulary. The research estimates that up to 40 percent of twins create a private language.

6. A mother's chest will heat up or cool down to regulate the temperature of a baby held on her chest. When a mother holds twins, each breast can independently adjust its own temperature to account for each child.

7. How to tell apart identical twins? Belly buttons! They are not genetic, they are scars left from removing the umbilical cord; and each one is slightly unique.

8. About 1 in 250 pregnancies results in identical twins.

9. The birthrate for twins has increased 76% since 1980, an uptick that some experts attribute to older women having children (women in their thirties are more likely than women in their twenties to have twins). Or maybe women are getting taller: A Long Island Jewish Medical Center study found that women who birth twins or other multiples were, on average, more than an inch taller than women who only birthed one child at a time.

10. For polar bears, twins aren’t unusual at all. In fact, they most commonly give birth to twins, and rarely deliver single cubs or triplets.

11. An extremely rare condition called superfetation occurs when a pregnant woman continues to menstrate and a second embryo forms. Often, the fetus conceived last is born prematurely, while the fetus conceived first is carried to term, but in some cases, the babies are born on the same day.

12. There is a “twin gene” – fraternal twining, which is the result of a woman releasing more than one egg at the same time, is genetically predisposed. Identical twins are the result of a random split of a single egg and cannot be genetically predisposed.

13. Nigeria has the highest rate of multiple births and more identical twins. China has the lowest rate for multiple births averaging 1 in 300.

14. Just as any brothers and sisters, fraternal twins will have about half of their genetic makeup in common. They will share about 50% of their DNA, the same as any siblings. Each individual receives half of their DNA from Mom's egg and half from Dad's sperm, and so any two offspring will have some overlapping qualities.

15. A study shows vegans are five times less likely to have twins than women who consume dairy. 

16. They tend to be early – over 60% of twins are born before 37 weeks. The average birth weight for a twin is 5lbs, 5 oz.

17. Due to complications such as the water breaking prematurely, twins can sometimes be born weeks to months apart. The record for time between births of twins is thought to be 87 days, nearly 3 months.

18. During pregnancy, the placenta provides vital sustenance to the baby. In a multiple pregnancy with dizygotic (fraternal) twins, a placenta develops for each baby. Sometimes, however, the two placentas fuse together and appear to be one single placenta. Since some monozygotic (identical) twins have one placenta, this can make it difficult to determine zygosity (identical or fraternal) in utero. Because they have their own placentas, fraternal twins are not at risk for some of the risky conditions that affect monozygotic twins, such as TTTS.

19. Three-fourths of all twins are fraternal. Half of these pairs are boy/girl, one-fourth girl/girl, and one-fourth boy/boy.

20. Fraternal twins are not expected to have the same intelligence level or rate of growth. They're no more alike than regular nontwin siblings.

It's okay to not be okay this Thanksgiving! - Holidays are HARD!

"It's okay to not be okay this Thanksgiving." 

http://news.recombine.com/2015/11/23/okay-not-okay-thanksgiving/

How well was that said!?! And it's so true! I bawled like a baby while reading this article. We have felt all of these emotions, and still feel some. While we are so very grateful for our sweet little twins on the way, we are still terrified and worry if they'll make it here safely. And, we still mourn the loss of our angel baby, Cannon. We don't have a baby to hold in our arms yet, so we too still haven't made it to the "other side". My heart hurts with you this holiday season.

Holidays are so hard for those who struggle with infertility. This was supposed to be YOUR year. The year you got a positive pregnancy test. The year to buy baby clothes, decorate, or finally have a little one to put in your nursery. Or the year you could FINALLY buy a "baby's first Christmas" ornament, because your tree just isn't complete without it. This was supposed to be the year you were able to ENJOY the holidays again! The year you had an adorable pregnant belly or sonogram pictures to show off. Or to be able to say "we're pregnant!" to all the annoying and insensitive people who constantly ask when you're going to have a baby. The year that an adoption DIDN'T fall through. I spent many years struggling at holidays...easter, mother's day (this last one was especially hard because of the miscarriage), father's day, thanksgiving, christmas, etc.

I loved this article because it's so honest. It's ok to be angry, and to feel as if you don't currently have much to be grateful for. Many of us haven't beat infertility yet. We haven't personally. I hope this article can bring you some comfort. I hope you know that even though the past years have sucked beyond belief, that there are still people who love you. People who understand. You're not alone. God loves you and is mindful of your situation. While we sometimes majorly question his plans for us, he's still there listening even though it doesn't feel like it. We hope you can enjoy this holiday season to the best of your ability. Or, if you hate it and it's bah humbug all the way, that's okay too! ;)

While we don't have babies in our arms quite yet, I still am so grateful for my loving and hard working husband, my wonderful siblings, nieces and nephews, my extremely generous parents, and our weeniedog, Slinky. He has gotten me through so many years of tears.

Please feel free to always share our blog posts, you never know who it may help!

11 weeks! - The babies now have tongues and nipples, he he!

The babies have been growing a ton! They now have fingernails, visible nipples (I think that's so cute for some reason), individual fingers and toes (no more webbed tootsies or fingers), a tongue, open nasal passages on the tiny tips of their noses, and their hair follicles are starting to form. So amazing, I absolutely love reading about their weekly development. We are truly God's greatest creations! The babies are about or just over 2 inches long now, the size of a lime. If we are having any girls, her ovaries are starting to form this week. Daddy thinks we will be having one of each, and I'm thinking two boys! We shall see soon!

My next appointment will be with the high risk center, just waiting for their call to schedule an appointment. We will be doing the NT testing then. It is done between 11 and 14 weeks. It is a simple ultrasound, along with some bloodwork. They measure the babies' neck folds to check for Downs Syndrome, etc. I know, this test sounds a little weird, but it's apparently quite accurate. Hopefully they both look great! Depending on the sexes of the babies, the bloodwork portion may not be very useful to us. Usually isn't for multiples. My doctor explained it like this...I have three sets of DNA circulating through my blood right now (cool!). If we were having one of each and the bloodwork comes back abnormal for a female, we would know the baby girl has an issue since I'm healthy. Same with a boy, I'm obviously not a boy so that one is pretty easy to dicifer which baby as well. But, if we are having two boys or two girls, it gets more complicated. We wouldn't know which baby has the issues. The machine that sorts the DNA is pretty good at sorting two people's, but when you're having more than one baby of the same sex, it becomes harder to sort. We will atleast know something by the neck measurements, but will have to see what we are expecting before going ahead with the bloodwork portion. Make sense? Thought that was cool and interesting. We have amazing technology now a days. If it weren't for science, we wouldn't be expecting twins! :) I'm sure the babies are just fine.

I have been feeling more hungry, and have been able to keep down lots more water. Still throwing up most evenings though. Five nights total though so far without any puking! Yay Unisom, and for being further along! I have felt really dizzy this last week, and this ligament pain is terrible. I guess the dizziness is due to the Progesterone opening up my blood vessels more to carry blood to the babies. I almost fell over twice in the bathroom this morning while brushing my teeth, ha ha. Not fun. And I'm hoping this pain from the Round Ligaments softening and stretching subsides soon, hurts sooo bad. I actually cried last night while we were out at Hobby Lobby because it was so painful. I've discovered walking isn't my friend, and it's starting to hurt worse to get up off the couch, out of bed, and out of the car especially. But, I am so thrilled to almost be three months along! And, there are two little limes in there, so I think I can forgive the ligaments for being excruciatingly painful, ha ha. My body is adjusting for two littles afterall. So cool and still hasn't fully sunk in!! Been eating lots of my Granny's delicious bottled peaches, loving grapes lately, bananas, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, fruity pebbles, baked potatoes, and raisins. Beef and pork are still a no no, gag. However, I can do tuna and pollock fish burgers from Costco on occasion. Weird. I got me some tasty prenatal calcium supplements since I'm allergic to dairy. They are quite good, big fan of the gummy vitamins! 

I haven't gotten my What to Expect When You're Expecting book out in awhile. But, I have to say, it was extremely exciting to move my bookmark from the "how to cope with pregnancy loss" section to the "third month"! BAM!!! Ha ha. We hope with all of our hearts that things keep going well! Thanks for all of your kind and uplifting comments.

Check out my bloated belly! I seriously look quite pregnant already, but it's all bloat. I feel like a human balloon! I can feel my uterus down low, but it ain't this big, ha ha. Oh well, I still love it! Can't wait to have a real belly though.

First OB ultrasound & Making a game plan with the doctor!

Well, today was AMAZING!!!

First, both babies heart rates and measurements were PERFECT! Each 165 bpm and 10 weeks 2 days. They no longer look like little gummy bears, they're full on adorable, little, itty bitty babies now! I wish soo bad Blake could have came today, it was by far the coolest ultrasound yet. Except for when we found out there are two in there of course! They come close though, today was really awesome. We have never gotten to do this before, never made it this far. We are eternally grateful to our donor couple. I wish I could give them the biggest hug right now! Tears fill my eyes when thinking of them. I have no idea what they look like because our embryo adoption was anonymous, but I have my own tender picture in my head.

I got to see Baby A's adorable tiny feet! He/she was extremely active, flopping and dancing all over the place. Legs, arms, head...everything was much more visible this time. Baby B was a little more difficult to see. He/she was quite lazy and was curled up sleeping at first. It took a minute to wake her/him up and start moving. Still didn't get to see it as good as the other one, but it was amazing none the less! I'm so in love with these two tiny people already. Until today, having twins hasn't completely seemed real. Too good to be true after all of our years of heartache. But, looking at them today and seeing them move, float around, and wave their little legs and arms...we're definitely having twins people!!

Secondly, I LOVVVVE my new doctor. A muuuch better experience than with the nurse practitioner last week. He spent a ton of time talking with me in his office after my ultrasound. He explained everything that's going to happen over the course of the pregnancy...how having multiples is completely different than a singleton, when we're going to schedule all the upcoming appointments, scans, ultrasounds and whatnot. I will be seeing a high risk specialist for all my scans and ultrasounds. But, he said everything looks great, so I will see him twice a month for now. Once a week after 30 weeks. He knows we are scared to death because of our previous miscarriage, but he said there's no reason to realllly worry because the babies look excellent. Risk of miscarriage goes drastically down in two weeks, so here's to hoping all continues to go well! I'm only considered medium risk to him right now because the babies look so good and because I don't have any health problems. Phew!! I'm really looking forward to getting to know him better. He was very caring, didn't rush me, did an extra belly ultrasound because he "wanted to see them in person also!", and even gave me his personal cell number! All the things I've been worrying about for the past two weeks have totally melted away. He was absolutely wonderful! I got the go ahead to go walking, exercise, etc. Just nothing too crazy of course. I've become much weaker from not doing much, and my darn shots made me really short of breath (like winded to go upstairs, it's sad). So, it might take a bit to get back to normal, but it'll be great once I'm there. I don't know how appropriate this is to publicly share lol, but my only restriction right now is no funny business. Until the placenta has moved, that's a big no no with Placenta Previa with twins. Along with lifting really heavy things. But, it makes sense,  we want these littles to get here safely!

Lastly, I've cried more today than I'd like to admit. But, seeing those two tiny amazing little people on that ultrasound screen was the neatest and cutest thing I've ever seen. They're adorable already! These pictures definitely don't do them justice, it was much more clear and awesome in person. And, I hear the high risk doctors have super awesome equipment! Looking forward to that, woo! But, here they are...officially labeled as Baby A and Baby B! Baby A is on my left side and B is on my right...as far as uterus location goes. Love you babies, stay happy and healthy!

Here's a profile of Baby B and a front shot of Baby A :) Fun fact - the baby closest to the exit is always deemed Baby A. We thought that was interesting.  It is also the one with its placenta still partially over my cervix. Can't wait to find out the genders in a few short weeks, ahhhhhhh!!!!! :) Sorry Mom, not sure if we can wait til Christmas to find out, ha ha. It might just have to be our wedding anniversary present to ourselves instead :)

Ps...I am doing much better with traveling now! Was able to drive myself to the doctor today without getting dizzy and violently vomiting once I got there, yayyy for Unisom!!

10 weeks! - Last injection, bloated belly & chips!

Yay! My bloodwork came back good, that means the babies' placentas are doing great. The Progesterone needed to be at least 20 and it's 59. And the Estrogen needed to be over 1,000 and it's 2,631. So...I did my last shot this morning!! So happy I could cry. My sides are so dry, red, and itchy :( Hoping they heal quickly! Hated these shots, but they've kept our precious little ones in there for 7 weeks now. They couldn't have made it on their own, so we are extremmmely grateful!

Well I don't have an adorable round baby belly, but my tummy is definitely getting tighter and more bloated looking! Definitely can't suck in anything anymore, ha ha. I can't wait to have a cute pregnant belly, I have waited almost nine years to have one. I hope our little piglets keep doing well and continue to grow grow grow!

I am officially 10 weeks yesterday and headed toward the second trimester. So crazy, can't believe I'm saying that! Can't wait to see our cute babies on the ultrasound screen on Tuesday. Sadly, Blake can't make it because of work, but at least we will know they're still ok. I've been spotting more often, which they said to expect, but I've still been extra nervous. I don't want a kajillion ultrasounds, but I can't describe how big of a relief it is to see that they're still doing ok. It's going to take a lot to convince me that everything really IS ok I think, ha ha. Getting to hear their little heartbeats is so amazing. Can't believe there's TWO in there! So, hopefully Tuesday goes well. I have a meeting with my new OB after the ultrasound, hoping he's great. I have so many questions...naturally, I'm terrified. So, I hope he doesn't disappoint. I'm so impatient, wish I could have just met with him on Friday, but he was out delivering babies. I guess I can forgive him ;)

This week: the babies' gums are growing tiny teeth buds in them, they now have bending elbows, their little stomachs and kidneys have started working, and they're each the size of a prune. That's 1.5 inches long! So cute, we love them already! I was craving chips the other night, so glad Blake was willing to go to the store for me at 10pm, ha ha. I didn't even have to ask. He's so funny, he said, "I wonder if it's the head bobber or the waver (the babies' motions from our previous ultrasound) that wants the chips? We're going to have some crazy womb service orders with twins!" Cracked me up. Blake loved this baby cartoon we saw online awhile back. And yes, I'm weird and dunked my chips in my yogurt. It was so good! Still can't imagine eating pickles in my icecream though, bleh...

Our first OB appointment - ultrasound on Tuesday!

Well today didn't go as expected, ha ha. Not really sure what we were expecting since this was our first real "baby appointment" and we've never been to one before...but I thought we'd at least get to hear the heart beats I guess? Felt like a waste of time. All we got to do was a urine sample, bloodwork, talked briefly with the NP, and received a welcome bag with some fun little things in it. We met with a Nurse Practitioner today, but I will get to meet our doctor before Thanksgiving though. Which is good, because I wasn't really impressed with the NP today. She didn't listen well, and somehow missed the Placenta Previa on my paperwork, so I wasn't going to have an ultrasound for three weeks, ha ha. I was like um yeah I'm gonna need one sooner than that. I have a million questions for our doctor, ha ha. I'm very excited, I've heard he's really good. He's also the Chief of Ob/Gyn at a nearby hospital. 

They aren't going to do a Pap Smear or any other exam until the Placenta Previa clears up, so all we have going on in the near future is an ultrasound this coming Tuesday and another just before Thanksgiving. Those are to check on the babies, but also for some of the early testing. Since we used donor embryos, the parents were screened for Cystic Fibrosis and whatnot before their IVF cycle, so we get to skip all that stuff. I also learned today the name of the ligament causing me so much pain.  The Round Ligaments  (http://www.babycenter.com/0_round-ligament-pain_205.bc). Causes dull achy pains, as well as sharp pains, especially when getting up or rolling over. This ligament supports your pelvis and uterus as your uterus grows. With multiples, it can cause pain before the second trimester because of the faster growing uterus. It does afterall have to accommodate more than one little baby :) I found this website helpful, it has tips on how to help cope and alleviate the pain. So if you're suffering, take a look! I'm definitely gonna try the warm bath and knee stretches.

I'm waiting to quit my shots until we get my Estrogen and Progesterone levels back from today's bloodwork. Usually the baby's placenta is good to go by week 10 and is producing all the needed hormones, but we think it's better to be safe than sorry. The fertility center said that doing injections for a few extra days won't hurt a thing. I hate my shots but it's totally worth it! We want to make sure that their little placentas are good to go :) We want healthy babies!

So, we will see you back on here on Tuesday. Not much else to report on. We did go on a yummy date afterwards to Pf Changs though, and I was able to eat the mongolian beef! Woo hoo! Apparently it's the only beef I can stomach, probably because it's total deliciousness. But, I'm still throwing up, still bloated and miserable, and sleeping a ton :) All good signs. Been eating lots of apples and peanut butter! Hopefully our little peanuts are still ok, Tuesday can't come soon enough. I really liked having an ultrasound every other week with the fertility center, ha ha. It was comforting. I know it's only been a week since our last one ha ha, but having twins is kinda scary!