A sweet friend recently told me that she loved following my blog and that I was an amazing mother! For a second I thought, a typo? She accidentally put "mother". Then, I remembered that I AM A MOTHER! Thanks for the tender reminder Lacee! Though we won't have a baby to hold soon because Cannon is in heaven, Blake and I are still very much a Mommy and Daddy. I found these poems online on Baby Center and absolutely loved them! I really felt like I should share them. I cried like a baby, you've been warned. They're absolutely wonderful!
There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about Cannon. Some days are worse than others. It's crazy to think that my due date would have been in about two weeks. But, I know that our sweet baby is in heaven watching over us. The Lord felt that our first baby had fulfilled it's journey, though it broke our hearts. I especially loved these poems because they talk about sweet and comforting things, like the babies sleeping on their mommy's pillows, and holding their hands. I have felt the sweet little spirit of Cannon several times. To all the other angel mommies, hang in there, and seek comfort in the fact that our babies are in a more beautiful place than we could ever possibly imagine. They're being held by family that has passed on, and hugged by angels! Like in the poem What Makes A Mother...I like to think that we loved baby Cannon so much already, that he got to go straight to heaven! We have been hoping and praying with all our might that Cannon and Heavenly Father have sent us a sweet sibling. Four more days!!
"WHAT MAKES A MOTHER"
I thought of you and closed my eyes,
And prayed to God today.
I asked what makes a Mother,
And I know I heard him say:
A mother has a baby,
This we know is true.
But, God, can you be a mother,
When your baby's not with you?
Yes, you can he replied,
With confidence in his voice.
I give many women babies,
When they leave is not their choice.
Some I send for a lifetime,
And others for a day.
And some I send to fill your womb,
But there's no need to stay.
I just don't understand this God,
I want my baby here.
He took a breath and cleared his throat,
And then I saw a tear.
I wish that I could show you,
What your child is doing today,
If you could see your child smile,
With other children who say:
We go to earth and learn our lessons,
Of love and life and fear.
My mommy loved me oh so much,
I got to come straight here.
I feel so lucky to have a mom,
Who had so much love for me.
I learned my lessons very quickly,
My mommy set me free.
I miss my mommy oh so much,
But I visit her each day.
When she goes to sleep,
On her pillow's where I lay.
I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek,
And whisper in her ear.
"Mommy don't be sad today, I'm your baby and I'm here."
So you see my dear sweet one,
Your children are ok.
Your babies are here in My home,
They'll be at heavens gate for you.
So now you see what makes a mother.
It's the feeling in your heart.
It's the love you had so much of,
Right from the very start.
Though some on earth may not realize you are a mother, until their time is done.
They'll be up here with Me one day,
And you'll know that you're the best one!
"SURVIVOR"
My mom is a survivor, or so I have heard it said. But I can hear her crying, when all others are in bed.
I watch her lay awake at night, and go to hold her hand. She doesn't know I'm with her, to help her understand.
But like the sands upon the beach, that never wash away. I watch over my surviving mom, who thinks of me each day.
She wears a smile for others, a smile of disguise. But through heaven's open door, I see tears flowing from her eyes.
My mom tries to cope with my death, to keep my memory alive. But to anyone who knows her, knows it's her way to survive.
As I watch over my surviving mom through heaven's open door, I try to tell her angels protect me forevermore.
I know that doesn't help her, or ease the burden she bears. So if you get a chance, talk to her and show her that you care.
For no matter what she says, no matter what she feels, my surviving mom has a broken heart that time won't ever heal.
"SOMEBODY"
Somebody said
it was all for the best,
that something was probably wrong.
Somebody said
it was meant to be,
Different verse,
same miserable song.
Somebody said,
"You can have another!"
As if that would make it alright.
Somebody said
"It was not a real child."
Somebody's not very bright.
Somebody thinks it is helpful
To say when grieving should end.
Somebody shows their true colors.
Somebody isn't a friend.
But somebody said, "I'm sorry."
And sat quietly by my side.
And somebody shared my sorrow
And held my hand when I cried.
And somebody always listened
And called my lost baby by name.
And somebody understood
That I'd never again be the same.
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