A ring...
My husband mentioned one afternoon last week that he thought I needed something to remember the baby by. Not that we will ever ever ever forget it, but he thought that I needed something that I could look at, or wear. When our IVF cycle failed years ago and we ended up with zero embryos to transfer, we decided to get a new puppy several months later. It was extremely therapeutic for us both, and we loved little Jasper to absolute pieces. He was the cutest thing ever. But our hearts were broken when I became extremely allergic to him as his long coat grew in (long haired Doxie). Don't want to do that again, our pet allergies aren't pleasant. Luckily, Slinky is the only dog that doesn't make my skin red and my nose unbearably itchy. And, he's perfectly happy being the only puppy child for now, ha ha. Now back to what I was saying...Blake knows I'm planning on decorating a shadow box with the baby's sonogram pictures, snap shots from the treatment, pg tests, etc., besides having the blog made into a book. But he had something else in mind, something wonderful. He mentioned, "some kind of a mother's ring" one afternoon, and I burst into tears. He started to apologize immediately because he thought I hated the idea and that's why I was crying. I tried hard to compose myself and said, "no, I love that idea!!" This baby did make me a mother for the first time after all ☺ We found this ring online (we love Amazon deals!), and I knew it was THE ONE as soon as I saw it. I knew I wanted something with the baby's birth stone month on it (March - Aquamarine). But other than that, I had no clue. The heart shaped stone and setting make this ring absolutely perfect in every way! It represents our great love and excitement for this baby. I love my hubby! This was his own sweet idea, and I will forever be grateful to him for it. I'm one lucky girl ♥
An angel...
A sweet friend recently told me that she had been given angel figurines by a family member. They represented the sweet babies that they had lost to miscarriages. It was therapeutic for her to have these, helped her to move on. And, it was a great way to still have these babies be a part of their lives. I loved this idea and immediately mentioned it to my Mom. I thought to myself, I want to do this too! We thought it would be so nice to have something to look at, something comforting. Something that says our baby does exist, is with the angels, and that this pregnancy wasn't just a dream. Miscarriage sufferers can often feel that way, that it all never really happened. You don't get the closure of a funeral or memorial service with most miscarriages. That makes moving on hard for many. So, my parents being the amazing, generous, loving, and wonderful people that they are...insisted on buying it for us. I should have known, ha ha. We absolutely love it! It goes beautifully next to our Willow Tree couple in the front room. This is the Willow Tree "Angel's Embrace" figurine. Even the title is perfect and fitting. It often makes us tear up, but in a good way. It is such a comfort to have, thanks for this great idea Melanie! We know our baby is being taken good care of by our Heavenly Father, angels, and other family members that have passed on. Thank you so much Mom and Dad, we love you more than words could ever say ♥
Last post until next treatment...
This post will be the last until our next treatment, which will probably be sometime this fall. So don't forget about us ☺ I am having the blog made into a book for us during that time, but we will be back! Hoping a media break will help us not dwell, give us some much needed bonding time, and also be relaxing. I love this blog though, so it was a bitter sweet decision. We just want to thank everyone that has shown us kindness, support, love, and comfort over the past few months. We will NEVER forget it! What a roller coaster ride this has been, huh?!...so much anticipation, pain, gratitude, stress, happiness, relief, disbelief, awe, sadness, excitement, and most importantly, HOPE and FAITH. Never give up on your dreams, even during your darkest hours! The Lord WILL provide a way, but in his time and own way. Although his plan may hurt (A LOT sometimes!), only he knows what is meant to be. We are so grateful to have been the earthly parents to that precious baby, if only for a short while. Even though things didn't turn out how we had hoped and dreamed, what an immense joy it was to FINALLY hear that we were "expecting" after 8 long and hard years! We don't regret anything. Many have told me that they appreciate our openness of our struggles, and admire our strength. Thank you so much for that! We don't always feel strong though, believe me. But we DO know that being angry with God gets you nowhere, and only hurts yourself. Our hearts will never be the same, but we are still very hopeful that a future treatment will be the answer to our many years of prayer. That is the reason why we haven't given up after everything we have been through...hope and faith. We honestly can't believe that we still have any, and that we have been able to endure all that we have. But I know our strength and comfort come from above. Many times over the years we have thought that we just can't take any more, not one more drop, or one more thing. But it is just proof to me that we are MUCH stronger than we give ourselves credit for ♥
This post will be the last until our next treatment, which will probably be sometime this fall. So don't forget about us ☺ I am having the blog made into a book for us during that time, but we will be back! Hoping a media break will help us not dwell, give us some much needed bonding time, and also be relaxing. I love this blog though, so it was a bitter sweet decision. We just want to thank everyone that has shown us kindness, support, love, and comfort over the past few months. We will NEVER forget it! What a roller coaster ride this has been, huh?!...so much anticipation, pain, gratitude, stress, happiness, relief, disbelief, awe, sadness, excitement, and most importantly, HOPE and FAITH. Never give up on your dreams, even during your darkest hours! The Lord WILL provide a way, but in his time and own way. Although his plan may hurt (A LOT sometimes!), only he knows what is meant to be. We are so grateful to have been the earthly parents to that precious baby, if only for a short while. Even though things didn't turn out how we had hoped and dreamed, what an immense joy it was to FINALLY hear that we were "expecting" after 8 long and hard years! We don't regret anything. Many have told me that they appreciate our openness of our struggles, and admire our strength. Thank you so much for that! We don't always feel strong though, believe me. But we DO know that being angry with God gets you nowhere, and only hurts yourself. Our hearts will never be the same, but we are still very hopeful that a future treatment will be the answer to our many years of prayer. That is the reason why we haven't given up after everything we have been through...hope and faith. We honestly can't believe that we still have any, and that we have been able to endure all that we have. But I know our strength and comfort come from above. Many times over the years we have thought that we just can't take any more, not one more drop, or one more thing. But it is just proof to me that we are MUCH stronger than we give ourselves credit for ♥
Farewell for now! Take care!
You will FOREVER be in our hearts, baby!
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